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Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Nowadays, working full time is becoming a common practise all over the world for both men and women, thanks to the development of the global economical situation. Instead of being male sponsored family, women are currently increase more and more their job occupation and are making their part in the sustenance of the family. Thus, this brings household works be divided between male and female, tying the gender difference occured a lot in the past. The previous centuries were characterised by strongest gender inequalities due to different social factors. Firstly, ancient tradition had brought the figure of females as a person who only have to care about household works and maternity, especially in countries that have a important historical culture like Italy or Greece. Secondly, the gender employement rate of the last century saw the males in big favour compared to the females. For this reason, females were always seen as good household workers and educational responsabiles. Fortunately, in the last decade many changes are occurr and inequalities are being dicreased, leaving space to more equal situations between genders. In these days, this old trend is not seeing as usual as the past generations did and, especially in the north countries, males do most of the tasks that females were used to do before. On the whole, I totally agree with the division of the household works because everyone needs to take care of their living house in order to help family with the same effort. Moreover, in my opinion it's very important to preserve equality of genders to leave outside arguments and bad feelings that ruin relationships. What makes a family united and safe is cohesion and the help to each other.
Nowadays, working full time is becoming a common
Possible spelling mistake. ‘practise’ is British English.
practise
all over the world for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, thanks to the development of the global
Did you mean “economic” (=connected with economy)?
economical
situation.
Instead
of being male sponsored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, women are
currently
increase more and more their job occupation and are making their part in the sustenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Thus
, this brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
works
be divided
between male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
, tying the gender difference
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “occurred”, the past tense form of the verb ‘occur’?
occured
a lot in the past.

The previous centuries were
Possible spelling mistake. ‘characterised’ is British English.
characterised
by strongest gender inequalities due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social factors.
Firstly
, ancient tradition had brought the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
as a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
works and maternity,
especially
in countries that have
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
historical culture like Italy or Greece.
Secondly
, the gender
Possible spelling mistake found.
employement
rate of the last century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
workers and educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsabiles
.

Fortunately
, in the last decade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurr
and inequalities are being
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicreased
, leaving space to more equal situations between genders. In these days, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
trend is not seeing as usual as the past generations did and,
especially
in the north countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
do most of the tasks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

On the whole
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the division of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone needs to take care of their living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with the same effort.
Moreover
, in my opinion it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to preserve equality of genders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
outside arguments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
feelings that ruin relationships. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
united and safe is cohesion and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to each other.
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay In many countries women and men are working full time. It is therefore, logical for women and men to share household works.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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