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Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.10

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. with this statement. v. 10
I am convinced the women of multiple nations are well educated and enrolling themselves in full time jobs for making their life fruitful. Consequently, it is asserted by some that the house related chores should be equally distributed among both genders. I am in consummate accord that the men should give their hand to women in household activities. To begin with, every female when come back from working place feel tired and depressed as they also have to look after the children and prepare dinner for all family members. In this way, the women felt restless and do not concentrate on the house chores and working place. Therefore, if the work would be shared among both sexes than the female would also enjoy their life and live happily with their family. To illustrate, the people of united states work cooeperately and complete all house related activitie in shorter period of time and spend quality of time with each other. furthermore, the women do not go to jobs for their own sake, they go for earning and fulfill the needs of their families. On the other hand, if they have to work in house for longer hours it would be complete injustice and they would feel bored from daily life and may be felt ill also due to lack of proper rest. furthermore, females would also not able to spend precious time with blooming buds and hence they would choose wrong directions in their life without getting guidance from their mothers. So, all these problems would be resolved only if men would also contribute equally for the cleanliness of house and preparing meals for their family. In conclusion, I am completely agree that the both genders should have to work collaboratively for the smooth running of life.
I
am convinced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of multiple nations are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
and enrolling themselves in full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs for making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fruitful.
Consequently
, it
is asserted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
related chores should be
equally
distributed among both genders. I am in consummate accord that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
should give their hand to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in household activities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, every female when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from working place feel tired and depressed as they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after the children and prepare dinner for all family members. In this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
felt restless and do not concentrate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
chores and working place.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
would
be shared
among both sexes than the female would
also
enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
with their family. To illustrate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
cooeperately
and complete all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
related
Possible spelling mistake found.
activitie
in shorter period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and spend quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not go to jobs for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake, they go for earning and fulfill the needs of their families.
On the other hand
, if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for longer hours it would be complete
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
injustice and
they would feel bored from daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and may
be felt
ill
also
due to lack of proper rest.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, females would
also
not able to spend precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with blooming buds and
hence
they would choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
directions in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without getting guidance from their mothers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, all these problems would
be resolved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
would
also
contribute
equally
for the cleanliness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and preparing meals for their family.

In conclusion
, I am completely
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
that the both genders should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
collaboratively
for the smooth running of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. with this statement. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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