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Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. v.3

Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. with the statement. v. 3
In the modern era, women are progressing in every field, they are contributing to society and the economy similarly to the men. Moreover, women have a dual responsibility, they work and they have to take care of their home as well. I strongly agree that to promote gender equality, men must participate in household chores. Firstly, in older times, most of the women stayed at home, their primary concern was to nurture their children, cook, and clean. However, with the development of society women are attending school, and colleges more than ever, also they are working in advance industries. Hence now they have to divide their time among a job, home, and their children, which is quite cumbersome. They struggle to complete their tasks and feel stressed and exhausted. If their husbands can help them in menial tasks such as cleaning, laundry, and cooking, it will take some burden off from their shoulders, moreover, they can relax and spend some time on their leisure activities. Secondly, men always have been dominating in this society, they have always been designated as bread earner, however, women are contributing equally financially, hence splitting chores will incorporate a sense of equality among women. In addition, if they find their spouse more supporting, they can concentrate on work and excel in their career. However, since men are not used to of working household chores, they may take a longer time than women, which may cause issues among them, but with help of their spouse, they can carry out a few chores. Additionally, sharing household activities among family member can also add a sense of responsibility among children. In conclusion, nowadays men and women are equally responsible for their household tasks, by sharing chores men and women can help each other out and can create a healthy environment in their house.
In the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are progressing in every field, they are contributing to society and the economy
similarly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have a dual responsibility, they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their home
as well
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that to promote gender equality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores.

Firstly
, in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
stayed at home, their primary concern was to nurture their children, cook, and clean.
However
, with the development of society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are attending school, and colleges more than ever,
also
they are working in advance industries.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
divide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
among a job, home, and their children, which is quite cumbersome. They struggle to complete their tasks and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and exhausted. If their husbands can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in menial tasks such as cleaning, laundry, and cooking, it will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
burden off from their shoulders,
moreover
, they can relax and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their leisure activities.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
always have been
dominating in this society, they have always
been designated
as bread earner,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are contributing
equally
financially
,
hence
splitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
will incorporate a sense of equality among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
In addition
, if they find their spouse more supporting, they can concentrate on work and excel in their career.
However
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
, they may take a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which may cause issues among them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their spouse, they can carry out a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
.
Additionally
, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
activities among family member can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a sense of responsibility among children.

In conclusion
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
equally
responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
tasks, by sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other out and can create a healthy environment in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. with the statement. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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