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Some people suggest the schools select pupils according to their academic ability, while others believe that it is better for young people with different abilities to study together. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people suggest the schools select pupils according to their academic ability, while others believe that it is better for young people with different abilities to study together. v. 2
People' s opinions differ as to whether or not should students be selected according to their academic performances. While distinguishing students does have lots of benefits, I believe different students learning together is a wiser choice. On the one hand, I can understand why people support streaming. In doing so, pupils with higher scores are expected to learn more, and therefore they can achieve higher goals. For example, in China there are a similar enrolment exam in some high schools, and students studying there are more likely to receive better education in the future. A recent report reveals that the world' s top universities' enrolment rate in these schools are noticeably higher than that in ability-mixed schools. One possible benefit would be that there will appear more elite university graduates and society will have more intelligent and creative workforce. On the other hand, there are a variety reasons why I agree with those who advocate ability-mixed schooling. Firstly, discriminations between different student groups can be avoided as they know they are taught in the same school and there is nothing special to be good at academic or physical or artistic performances. Secondly, studying together enables learners to seek help from each other in terms of physical activities, art projects and communication skills, and it might become feasible to promote an all-round development of a student. Many high schools in the UK, for example, teach students with different abilities, and many graduates have entered great universities or colleges where they can achieve their potential. Finally, an academic ability is not the only standard for evaluating students. If we recruit students based on his or her test scores, there will be an implication that practical or artistic abilities are less important than academic abilities. In conclusion, it seems to me that streaming is indeed beneficial for students with better exam grades, whilst having mixed abilities students in schools is a better option for every learners and society as a whole.
Possible spelling mistake found.
People&
#039; s opinions differ
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be selected
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performances. While distinguishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
does have lots of benefits, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning together is a wiser choice.

On the one hand, I can understand why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support streaming. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, pupils with higher scores are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to learn more, and
therefore
they can achieve higher goals.
For example
, in China there are a similar
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "exams"?
exam
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying there are more likely to receive better education in the future. A recent report reveals that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
world&
#039; s top
Possible spelling mistake found.
universities&
#039;
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
rate in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
noticeably
higher than that in ability-mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. One possible benefit would be that there will appear more elite university graduates and society will have more intelligent and creative workforce.

On the other hand
, there are a variety reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who advocate ability-mixed schooling.
Firstly
, discriminations between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
groups can
be avoided
as they know they
are taught
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and there is nothing special to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
or physical or artistic performances.
Secondly
, studying together enables learners to seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from each other in terms of physical activities, art projects and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and it might become feasible to promote an all-round development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the UK,
for example
, teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates have entered great universities or colleges where they can achieve their potential.
Finally
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
standard for evaluating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If we recruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores, there will be an implication that practical or artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
are less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
abilities.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that streaming is
indeed
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with better exam grades, whilst having mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is a better option for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "learner"?
learners
and society as a whole.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some people suggest the schools select pupils according to their academic ability, while others believe that it is better for young people with different abilities to study together. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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