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Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement. v.2

Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. with the statement. v. 2
In the recent years, women's position has uplifted in the society, and many of them are doing full-time jobs just like men. Therefore, some people believe that a husband and wife should equally share the household chores. I also agree with the statement and will discuss it in the essay. First of all, the contribution of men in the house-tasks would lessen the burden on ladies. To clarify, women always have the responsibility to bear the pressure to handle households along with their jobs due to which they become over-stressed which sometimes affect the harmony between family members. A study conducted in the UK, found that 30% of marriages ended in divorce due to unfairly dividing chores between partners. Consequently, equal share of work between couples would lead to alleviated stress and happier families. Another important aspect is that children could get the proper care if home chores are distributed evenly between father and mother. This is because children require attention of both parents, and if mothers always remain busy with other duties at home, then the kid would be deprived of her love and care. This would result in mental issues in the children and in the worst cases, mothers have to leave their jobs for the sake of her child. For instance, a woman living in my building has to leave her well-paid managerial job due to family pressure. In conclusion, it is fair to say that the time has changed now, and women are contributing fairly in the household expenses with men. I believe that it is the time of dire need that both husband and wife should perform the daily tasks at home together.
In the recent years, women's position has uplifted in the society, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are doing full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that a husband and wife should
equally
share the household chores. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and will discuss it in the essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the contribution of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
-tasks would lessen the burden on ladies. To clarify, women always have the responsibility to bear the pressure to handle households along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
due to which they become over-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
affect the harmony between family members. A study conducted in the UK, found that 30% of marriages ended in divorce due to
unfairly
dividing chores between partners.
Consequently
, equal share of work between couples would lead to alleviated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and happier families.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is that children could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper care if home chores
are distributed
evenly
between father and mother. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children require attention of both parents, and if mothers always remain busy with other duties at home, then the kid would
be deprived
of her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care. This would result in mental issues in the children and in the worst cases, mothers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for the sake of her child.
For instance
, a woman living in my building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
her well-paid managerial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
due to family pressure.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say that the time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and women are contributing
fairly
in the household expenses with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. I believe that it is the time of dire need that both husband and wife should perform the daily tasks at home together.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Nowadays in many countries woman have full time jobs. therefore, it is logical to share household task evenly between man and woman. with the statement. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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