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Nowadays, for work reasons, many families move to other countries. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this. Others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opi v.2

Nowadays, for work reasons, many families move to other countries. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this. Others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. 2
These days, an increasing number of people tend to relocate abroad in order to get better career opportunities. Although it can be beneficial for their children, others claim that these children can experience some negative consequences from the relocation. This essay discusses both sides of the argument and then I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, there are those who advocate children’s relocation to other countries. This is because they can find there better schools or institutions compared to those in which they used to study at their home country. As a result, having graduated from a prominent university, adolescents might be able to be employed by an excellent company and to be paid a decent salary, which can be beneficial for them and for their future family. Moreover, after having moved to other countries, children can broaden their horizons since there are many new people with whom they may communicate and, therefore, acquire new informations and become all-round and versatile people. On the other hand, some people think that changing a place of living can be detrimental for children. For one thing, while relocating abroad, adolescents lose their friends and other people, be they their teachers or neighbours, who had been very close to them for a long period of time. Consequently, this can lead to the sense of loneliness and homesick, which would most likely cause health problems and some mental disorders. Furthermore, since some countries are known to have different curriculum at school, it can be difficult for the migrated children to adapt to the new school requirements and to keep up with their peers. In conclusion, I think that both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance, however, I am convinced that moving to another country might be a good development for children because they would have no other choice but to be competitive people among those who are already live in this country, which can force them to do their best towards their goals. Given the situation, I would no doubt suggest people take their children to other countries and encourage them to blend in with the new society as much as possible.
These days, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to relocate abroad in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better career opportunities. Although it can be beneficial for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others claim that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "from". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences from
the relocation. This essay discusses both sides of the argument and then I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

On the one hand, there are those who advocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
relocation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can find there better schools or institutions compared to those in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to study at their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
As a result
, having graduated from a prominent university, adolescents might be able to
be employed
by an excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and to
be paid
a decent salary, which can be beneficial for them and for their future family.
Moreover
, after having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can broaden their horizons since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with whom they may communicate and,
therefore
, acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
and become all-round and versatile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that changing a place of living can be detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. For one thing, while relocating abroad, adolescents lose their friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, be they their teachers or
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, who had been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to them for a long period of time.
Consequently
, this can lead to the sense of loneliness and homesick, which would most likely cause health problems and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental disorders.
Furthermore
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are known
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
curriculum at school, it can be difficult for the migrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to adapt to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
school requirements and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with their peers.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance,
however
, I
am convinced
that moving to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to be competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
among those who are already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which can force them to do their best towards their goals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the situation, I would no doubt suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and encourage them to blend in with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
society as much as possible.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, for work reasons, many families move to other countries. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this. Others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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