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People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factor. v. 3
Many individuals think that there is a direct correlation between people’s age and their shopping preferences. I totally disagree with this statement since people of all ages might want to buy food and look stylish. One of the main reasons for my disagreement is the desire of people of all age brackets to purchase food. In order to stay alive, all people, be they sixteen or sixty years old individuals, should buy and consume a huge variety of products. Therefore, all of them would no doubt be purchasing meals throughout the course of their entire life. For example, on a daily basis, I observe people of different ages in supermarkets who buy the same types of food, such as bread, milk and vegetables. Another reason why I do not support the view that people’s shopping habits are affected by their age is because all people may want to look trendy. Being members of society, many people, be they schoolgirls or adult women, have no other choice but to buy modern clothes to look fashionable and to feel confident. As a result, there are many manufacturers of clothes which create their products aimed at people of different age brackets. For instance, my grandmother Liz, who is seventy years old, is almost addicted to buying dresses and shoes as she has still been working for a marketing company and from her point of view she has to look perfectly. In conclusion, I completely disagree that shopping habits of people vary in accordance with their age because all individuals should buy food to survive and many people tend to buy clothes during their whool life to look modern and appropriate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is a direct correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and their shopping preferences. I
totally
disagree with this statement since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
might want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
stylish.

One of the main reasons for my disagreement is the desire of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
brackets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In order to stay alive, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, be they sixteen or sixty years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
individuals, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and consume a huge variety of products.
Therefore
, all of them would no doubt be purchasing meals throughout the course of their entire life.
For example
, on a daily basis, I observe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
in supermarkets who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the same types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, such as bread, milk and vegetables.

Another reason why I do not support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
shopping habits are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
trendy. Being members of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, be they schoolgirls or adult women, have no other choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
modern clothes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
fashionable and to feel confident.
As a result
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manufacturers of clothes which create their products aimed at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
brackets.
For instance
, my grandmother Liz, who is seventy years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, is almost addicted to buying dresses and shoes as she has
still
been working for a marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and from her point of view she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
perfectly
.

In conclusion
, I completely disagree that shopping habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vary in accordance with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all individuals should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to survive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
clothes during their
Possible spelling mistake found.
whool
life to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
modern and appropriate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factor. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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