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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today work fewer hours and have more leisure time than previous generations did. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.637

People today work fewer hours and have more leisure time than previous generations did. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 637
there is no doubt in the fact that whether the current generation or our ancestors worked or not but what arises doubt in mind is the question who worked more than other generation. Personally, I believe that present generation have been giving more efforts. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, today' s era has become materialistic, which means people have the craving for having more and more things. people today have innumerable desires and wanted to accomplish them as fast as possible, making them to work hard day and night to fulfill them and forgetting all about their other pleasures of life. For example, my elder brother who has just been employed in the company is very precipitous in achieving all things which he dreamt off, since his childhood. he wanted to buy a car of his own, a bungalow and what not. However, all these things won' t come for free and require money and due to this my brother have made his life so much busy that he does not have time to even call parents and ask for their well-being. Hence, due to the increasing desires of people, they are becoming more and more engaged. Secondly, now there' s a sense of competition been engendering in the minds of people. Earlier people used to live a bucolic life and have their concerns regarding only to get their meal on time and they are not much cosmopolitan, but now due to the development of many countries, developing countries like india, China are promoting their citizens to work day and night in order to surpass the leading nations of the world. The country in which I am living is a compelling example of this. In my country, india government are making policies in order to lure public to work round the clock by making use of the nationality. The government is inciting the sense of competition with other countries and making them to perceive every other nations as their rivals whom public will defeat with their efforts. As a result, citizens are more embroiled in working hard leaving back all their happiness in their lives. Therefore, the increasing awareness about globalisation is making the people of developing country to do job for extra hours. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that current era is working more blindly than our ancestors. this is because everyone have become the victim of materialism and have myriad of desires and because globalisation is inciting the sense of competition in their mind making public to be industrious and not take rest until they have defeated their rivals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is no doubt in the fact that whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation or our ancestors worked or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what arises doubt in mind is
This sounds awkward in English. The standard is "the question of who".
the question who
worked more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
generation.
Personally
, I believe that present generation have been giving more efforts. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s era has become materialistic, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the craving for having more and more things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have innumerable desires and wanted to accomplish them as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible, making them to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day and night to fulfill them and forgetting all about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pleasures of life.
For example
, my elder brother who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
been employed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precipitous in achieving all things which he dreamt off, since his childhood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, a bungalow and what not.
However
, all these things
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for free and require money and due to this my brother have made his life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much busy that he does not have time to even call parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
their well-being.
Hence
, due to the increasing desires of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they are becoming more and more engaged.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake found.
there&
#039; s a sense of competition been engendering in the minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a bucolic life and have their concerns regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their meal on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they are not much cosmopolitan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
due to the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
, China are promoting their citizens to work day and night in order to surpass the leading nations of the world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in which I am living is a compelling example of this. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are making policies in order to lure public to work round the clock by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the nationality. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is inciting the sense of competition with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and making them to perceive every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations as their rivals whom public will defeat with their efforts.
As a result
, citizens are more embroiled in working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
leaving back all their happiness in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, the increasing awareness about
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
is making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to do job for extra hours.
In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era is working more
blindly
than our ancestors.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
become the victim of materialism and have myriad of desires and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
is inciting the sense of competition in their mind making public to be industrious and not take rest until they have defeated their rivals.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay People today work fewer hours and have more leisure time than previous generations did. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 637

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
446 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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