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Nowadays for many people the Internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in the future and what is your opinion about this trend? v.2

Nowadays for many people the Internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in the future and what is your opinion about this trend? v. 2
Individuals nowadays are inhabiting a new ideology of buying new things, then throwing them away after some period of usage. This is having an adverse effect on our environment. There are various reasons for this cause and is causing various problems. With the rise of the world economy, average per-capita income has also increased, leaving individual with more money. This caused some people to make a habit of throwing away things after some use. Moreover there are a number of different varieties of products available. This caused humans to have a lust for using different product of different manufacturers. Also due to the advancement of technology the companies launch new products in the shortest time-period, which makes people feel that their product is old, hence forcing them mentally to buy new products. For example, Mobile phone manufacturer Xiaomi Redmi launches new mobile phone every month, of which people having a desire to always have a new model of Smartphone buys a new phone every month. However this false desire has caused big troubles, like environmental problems. Firstly companies have to manufacture new products in great quantity due to great demand, which causes exploitation of Natural resources. Furthermore, the discarded products or the used products need to be disposed off, which is quite impossible due to the large amount. Sometimes the used products which are mostly made out of plastic do not get recycled or disposed off and end up in polluting our mother Earth. It also wastes money, which otherwise could be used for good purpose. This is a major problem on which no-one pays attention, but it needs to be considered. Otherwise it will cause major problems to humanity in the long run.
Individuals nowadays are inhabiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ideology of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, then throwing them away after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
period of usage. This is having an adverse effect on our environment.

There are various reasons for this cause and is causing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. With the rise of the world economy, average
Possible spelling mistake found.
per-capita
income has
also
increased, leaving individual with more money. This caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a habit of throwing away things after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
there are a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available. This caused humans to have a lust for using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
manufacturers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
due to the advancement of technology the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
launch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the shortest time-period, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
hence
forcing them mentally to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, Mobile phone manufacturer Xiaomi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Redmi
launches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
mobile phone every month, of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having a desire to always have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
model of Smartphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phone every month.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this false desire has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
troubles, like environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manufacture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in great quantity due to great demand, which causes exploitation of Natural resources.
Furthermore
, the discarded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
need to
be disposed
off, which is quite impossible due to the large amount.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are
mostly
made out of plastic do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recycled or disposed off and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in polluting our mother Earth. It
also
wastes money, which
otherwise
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purpose.

This is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
on which no-one pays attention,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it needs to
be considered
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
it will cause major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to humanity in the long run.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays for many people the Internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in the future and what is your opinion about this trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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