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Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.7

Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. v. 7
Immigrating to other nations for business purposes has been a popular tendency for many families recently. Therefore, it has been debated that whether this trend would obtain positive influence on offsprings of one family who resolves to establish their life due to profession's requirements in another country or not. My essay will analyse both of the perspectives and demonstrate my views at the end of the paragraph. Altering to a new foreign neighbourhood is believed to deal pessimistic effects to a child, and in fact, this is true in some cases. A survey on several teenagers whose parents moved to a completely unfamiliar place just to maintain their financial status when they were younger suffer from many mental sickness like depression, autism, or anxiety disorders. Numerous children who suffer from this case feel lost when they live in the new environment. This is because the ability to adapt to elsewhere new limits for a child, and therefore, they are unable to communicate, or have new relationships. This consequently directly affects their education, state of mind, and physical development. However, it does not mean that changing new living surroundings is bad due to certain reasons. Once the children are used to the conditions of their new home, which means that they have already overcome their problems they endured initially. Furthermore, these young individuals virtually become successful in their future carried because the ability to handle pressure tasks was laying a solid foundation already. For instance, in the USA, most children who have already experienced such a change in his life find himself more resilient in making crucial decisions which involve in their career. In conclusion, the advantages and disadvantages of switching living places for busy parents are even. In my opinion, it creates the opportunity for their children to harden themselves in terms of patience as they adapt to that unaccustomed place.
Immigrating to other nations for business purposes has been a popular tendency for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families recently.
Therefore
, it has
been debated
that whether this trend would obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
of one family who resolves to establish their life due to profession's requirements in another country or not. My essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both of the perspectives and demonstrate my views at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the paragraph.

Altering to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
foreign
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is believed
to deal pessimistic effects to a child, and in fact, this is true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. A survey on several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
whose parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a completely unfamiliar place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to maintain their financial status when they were younger suffer from
Possible agreement error. The noun sickness seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much mental sickness", "a good deal of mental sickness".
many mental sickness
like depression, autism, or anxiety disorders. Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who suffer from this case feel lost when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the ability to adapt to elsewhere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
limits for a child, and
therefore
, they are unable to communicate, or have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationships. This
consequently
directly
affects their education, state of mind, and physical development.

However
, it does not mean that changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
living surroundings is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
due to certain reasons. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the conditions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home, which means that they have already overcome their problems they endured
initially
.
Furthermore
, these young individuals
virtually
become successful in their future carried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the ability to handle pressure tasks was laying a solid foundation already.
For instance
, in the USA, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have already experienced such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in his life find himself more resilient in making crucial decisions which involve in their career.

In conclusion
, the advantages and disadvantages of switching living places for busy parents are even. In my opinion, it creates the opportunity for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to harden themselves in terms of patience as they adapt to that unaccustomed place.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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