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The table above shows data on the demographics of four nations Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The table above shows data on the demographics of four nations
As a result of the growth of supermarkets in some countries, many local businesses have died out. Some people argue that without local business, local communities will cease to exist. Personally, I believe that even though the closure of regional enterprises poses a great threat to local communities. It is certain that nowadays people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than in local shops. This is mainly due to the fact that it is more convenient to buy everything in one larger shop, for example a supermarket, than having to visit several different shops to buy the same things. Supermarkets reduce shopping time and people can buy what they want in a relatively short time. To illustrate, a recent study conducted by the Guardian has demonstrated that the majority of individuals buy most of his or her food and household goods from a big store because prices are lower, choice greater, quality more consistent, and service speedier; many people also believe that services provided by the local stores are not reliable. The expansion of supermarkets not only resulted in the extinction of the local shops, it has also greatly affected the local communities. In any area, after the arrival of a big supermarket, participation in local charities, churches, campaign groups and even voting declines sharply. Communities are created by myriad small daily encounters: getting cooking tips from the greengrocer, hearing about a job from the butcher, recommending a good plumber at the bakery, exchanging opinions in the pub. According to Jane Jacobs, the author of a well-known book on city life, supermarkets minimise human contact in the interests of efficiency and convenience, most recently by introducing self-service lanes for payment, they cut the threads that hold an engaged community together. In conclusion, the widespread introduction of supermarkets has greatly affected local communities all over the globe. I agree that these results are mainly negative, since the vast majority of local shops has closed, which in turn has lead to disunion within local populations.
As a result
of the growth of supermarkets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
will cease to exist.
Personally
, I believe that
even though
the closure of regional enterprises poses a great threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.

It is certain that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in supermarkets
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. This is
mainly
due to the fact that it is more convenient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
everything in one larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
,
for example
a supermarket, than having to visit several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the same things. Supermarkets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
shopping time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what they want in a
relatively
short time. To illustrate, a recent study conducted by the Guardian has demonstrated that the majority of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
food and household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
prices are lower, choice greater, quality more consistent, and service speedier;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
believe that services provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores are not reliable.

The expansion of supermarkets not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
resulted in the extinction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, it has
also
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. In any area, after the arrival of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
supermarket, participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charities, churches, campaign groups and even voting declines
sharply
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Communities
are created
by myriad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
daily encounters: getting cooking tips from the greengrocer, hearing about a job from the butcher, recommending a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
plumber at the bakery, exchanging opinions in the pub. According to Jane Jacobs, the author of a well-known book on city life, supermarkets
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
human contact in the interests of efficiency and convenience, most recently by introducing self-service lanes for payment, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the threads that hold an engaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
together.

In conclusion
, the widespread introduction of supermarkets has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
all over the globe. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that these results are
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, since the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
has closed, which in turn has lead to disunion within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
populations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The table above shows data on the demographics of four nations

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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