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do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should show their political and social view to students. v.300

Teachers should show their political and social view to students. v. 300
Some countries are facing a concern with a high amount of people experiencing issues with health due to the intake of large amounts of fast food. A common opinion put forth by a lot of people is that the government should pitch in and impose higher taxes on these kinds of foods, so that the people are discouraged from being too reliant on them. In my opinion, while I do agree that consuming unusual amounts of fast food will cause inadvertent problems to human health and governments should impose a tax for better control, there are also better ways of handling this instead of relying on the taxes alone. With regards to the harm and ill-effects fast food can cause to the body, people should also be proactive and understand the nature of such foods. It must be considered as a person's own responsibility to take care of their body and when some eatables cause harm, we must be proactive enough to tackle them at the grassroots. The government should also consider this concern and putting high taxes on fast food is a guaranteed way to lessen the accessibility to such foods, however, it is not a foolproof method. Though this method discourages the consumption, it should be the responsibility of the people to manage the same. For example, any person with the ability to spend money lavishly will not flinch from the heavy tax applied. Hence, it must be their own responsibility which should come first, and not the outlook of the government. In conclusion, I would reiterate that the government can play a role in controlling access to fast food and it should be taken up as a priority with them. However, as individuals of a society, we should take the most blame for the booming growth of the concerned industry and should work towards amending both our environment and our bodies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries are facing a concern with a high amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experiencing issues with health due to the intake of large amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. A common opinion put forth by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pitch in and impose higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are discouraged
from being too reliant on them. In my opinion, while I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that consuming unusual amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will cause inadvertent problems to human health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should impose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for better control, there are
also
better ways of handling this
instead
of relying on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
alone.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the harm and ill-effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can cause to the body,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
be proactive and understand the nature of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as a person's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to take care of their body and when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
eatables cause harm, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be proactive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to tackle them at the grassroots.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
consider this concern and putting high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a guaranteed way to lessen the accessibility to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
however
, it is not a foolproof method. Though this method discourages the consumption, it should be the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to manage the same.
For example
, any person with the ability to spend money
lavishly
will not flinch from the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
applied.
Hence
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility which should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
first
, and not the outlook of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In conclusion
, I would reiterate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can play a role in controlling access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and it should
be taken
up as a priority with them.
However
, as individuals of a society, we should take the most blame for the booming growth of the concerned industry and should work towards amending both our environment and our bodies.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Teachers should show their political and social view to students. v. 300

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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