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Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are reasons? Give solutions v.3

Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are reasons? Give solutions v. 3
In recent years there has been a significant increase in the frequency of watching television in children as compared to the past. This phenomenon has been necessitated not only by dual-income families, but also by the lack of other leisure activities for children. These reasons will be discussed in this essay, as well as suggesting some strategies to curb this. Discussing the reasons, the first and foremost one is dual-income families. To elaborate, these days in most families, both parents are of the working class unlike in the past, hence this leaves them with less time to spend with their children, as a result the children will prefer watching TV. For instance, a child with parents who goes to work spends more time on television because parents' jobs are more demanding. Nevertheless, lack of diversity of playing activities in the community also plays a role, for example, swimming facilities near residential areas. In order to stay occupied, children will watch TV indoors because recreational facilities are limited. Moving on to strategies, the most useful might be the introduction or the provision of more recreational and playing facilities as well as the devotion of more time to children by parents during their off days or vacation leaves. If more swimming pools, jumping castles are to be made available locally, then children would spend more time playing rather than watching television. Parents need also to plan some family gateways on their vacation days, so as to spend more time with children, thus reducing television watching. For example going shopping, visiting museums and game parks. In conclusion, the rise in the popularity of television watching by children these days is mainly due to lack of family time, as well as the unavailability of playing stations and recreational facilities locally. However, spending more time with children on holidays and providing playing facilities in the community will help greatly.
In recent years there has been a significant increase in the frequency of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as compared to the past. This phenomenon has
been necessitated
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by dual-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by the lack of other leisure activities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These reasons will
be discussed
in this essay,
as well
as suggesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies to curb this.

Discussing the reasons, the
first
and foremost one is dual-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. To elaborate, these days in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are of the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
unlike in the past,
hence
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
as a result
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will prefer watching TV.
For instance
, a child with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
Did you mean "go"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'parents' should be used.
goes
to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents' jobs are more demanding.
Nevertheless
, lack of diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
activities in the community
also
plays a role,
for example
, swimming facilities near residential areas. In order to stay occupied,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV indoors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
recreational facilities
are limited
.

Moving on to strategies, the most useful might be the introduction or the provision of more recreational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
facilities
as well
as the devotion of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
during their off days or vacation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
. If more swimming pools, jumping castles are to
be made
available
locally
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
rather
than watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
need
also
to plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gateways on their vacation days,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
thus
reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
watching.
For example
going shopping, visiting museums and game parks.

In conclusion
, the rise in the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
watching by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days is
mainly
due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
as well
as the unavailability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
stations and recreational facilities
locally
.
However
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on holidays and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
facilities in the community will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
greatly
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are reasons? Give solutions v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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