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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
Due to the advancement of technology and rising social influence of the entertainment industry, celebrities’ incomes are reported to be invariably high in comparison with those of public figures. Personally, I remain a neutral opinion on this trend. Several reasons to justify my opinion are presented in this essays. The disparity in the salaries of celebrities and politicians can be attributed to several reasons. Firstly, thanks to the development of technology, nowadays entertainers can reach audiences and fans towards various means. Some platforms can be referred include the Internet which supports social networking sites, YouTube, or Netflix; TV shows and entertainment programs; the publication of CDs; cinemas and the list go on. What is more, many giants also use celebrity endorsement to promote their products, which also popularize prominent figures. Therefore, famous people deserve to earn more as their images are presented ubiquitously. From my personal perspective, I believe this trend brings about either positive or negative consequences. First and foremost, having lucrative incomes enables stars to share with the community by doing voluntary work, donating money to help poverty-stricken people, the homelessness or orphans. Being influenced by the icons of celebrities, the public would also be socially responsible and the whole society therefore will have a sense of community. However, the significant role of politicians should not be underestimated. A nation in particular and a whole society in general cannot be developed unless there is interference of political figures. Thus, both superstars and legislator perform equal importance. In conclusion, it is the expansion of the media that make popularization of high-profile people, which leads to a considerable discrepancy between their salaries and politicians’. I believe that although this phenomenon is positive in the way it raises people’s awareness about the society, the trend would not be long-lasting if it were not for the role of politicians who lead the economy of a country.
Due to the advancement of technology and rising social influence of the entertainment industry,
celebrities’
incomes
are reported
to be
invariably
high
in comparison
with those of public figures.
Personally
, I remain a neutral opinion on this trend. Several reasons to justify my opinion
are presented
in
this
essays.

The disparity in the salaries of
celebrities
and
politicians
can
be attributed
to several reasons.
Firstly
, thanks to the development of technology, nowadays entertainers can reach audiences and fans towards various means.
Some
platforms can
be referred
include the Internet which supports social networking sites, YouTube, or Netflix; TV
shows
and entertainment programs; the publication of CDs; cinemas and the list go on.
What is more
,
many
giants
also
use
celebrity
endorsement to promote their products, which
also
popularize prominent figures.
Therefore
,
famous
people
deserve to earn more
as
their images
are presented
ubiquitously
.

From my personal perspective, I believe this trend brings about either
positive
or
negative
consequences.
First
and foremost, having lucrative incomes enables stars to share with the community by doing voluntary work, donating money to
help
poverty-stricken
people
, the homelessness or orphans.
Being influenced
by the icons of
celebrities
, the public would
also
be
socially
responsible and the whole society
therefore
will have a sense of community.
However
, the significant role of
politicians
should not
be underestimated
. A nation
in particular
and a whole society
in general
cannot
be developed
unless there is interference of political figures.
Thus
, both superstars and legislator perform equal importance.

In conclusion
, it is the expansion of the media that
make
popularization of high-profile
people
, which leads to a considerable discrepancy between their salaries and
politicians’
. I believe that although this phenomenon is
positive
in the way it raises
people’s
awareness about the society, the trend would not be long-lasting if it were not for the role of
politicians
who lead the economy of a country.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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