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In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement? v.3

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. v. 3
In today's era, adopting vegan culture is becoming very popular globally amongst millions of people who have now stopped using goods produced from animal. In my opinion, I agree with the fact that a big portion of the population is getting influenced by this culture, because of which they have stopped using animal products, such as dairy food items, goods made of leather and many others. One of the major reasons behind this transformation is universal campaigning regarding benefits of becoming vegan. Moreover, PETA, which is an organization that strongly discourage people to use animal goods and animal cruelty and also promotes kindness towards such living creatures. Secondly, industries are now introducing so many alternatives of such products, because of which people are getting more influenced not to use such things and this sector has expanded to a big extent. Although, there are people who are not convinced with the opinion of not using such medicine and garments, also they are not keen to convert into vegetarians either. Medical industries have started using natural/eco-friendly products as raw materials for the manufacturing of drugs. Such industries are highly influenced by the concept of Ayurveda. This transition has been observed since last couple of decades because that motivates several numbers of manufacturers to turn themselves to produce goods which are not made from any living being rather they promote to use natural products extracted from plants. In conclusion, people have started discouraging such products and becoming more aware about the implications caused because of promoting animal goods.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, adopting vegan culture is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular globally amongst millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
produced from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
. In my opinion, I
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portion of the population is getting influenced by this culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, such as dairy food items,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
made of leather and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. One of the major reasons behind this transformation is universal campaigning regarding benefits of becoming vegan.
Moreover
, PETA, which is an organization that
strongly
discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
cruelty and
also
promotes kindness towards such living creatures.
Secondly
, industries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternatives of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting more influenced not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such things and this sector has expanded to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
extent. Although, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not convinced with the opinion of not using such medicine and garments,
also
they are not keen to convert into vegetarians either. Medical industries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using natural/eco-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as raw materials for the manufacturing of drugs. Such industries are
highly
influenced by the concept of Ayurveda. This transition has
been observed
since last couple of decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that motivates several numbers of manufacturers to turn themselves to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which are not made from any living being
rather
they promote to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
extracted from plants.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
discouraging such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and becoming more aware about the implications caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. v. 3

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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