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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. with this statement? v. 18

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. with this statement?

In the modern world, all eyes are on famous peoples’ lifestyles, due to the development of technologies it has become easier than ever. Although society discusses their life, it’s still controversial how they grab our attention. To begin with, no one can deny that the world is diverse and there are various types of celebrities. For some of them money is not the main value while others life is full of luxurious materials, but we should remember that nothing is easily reachable in the world and we most appreciate their talent. For example, singers and actors are people who made themselves by their own, owing to the fact that they worked industriously during the years. From my point of view these celebrities who are millionaires now are role models for children, because they can see the consequences of hard work. They demonstrate the necessity of ambition and effort that is compulsory to have a successful career. However, this issue can be considered from the opposite angle. The world is full of celebrities who became popular without any achievements. There are dozens of popular people who merely married to someone or acted wrongly in order to get society’s attention. No one can deny that these people may have a detrimental influence on young people, because they may think that the tide will turn one time and they will achieve everything without diligence and success is easily accessible. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the influence of celebrities can be detrimental and beneficial on children in equal measures.

IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the modern
world
, all eyes are on
famous
peoples’ lifestyles, due to the development of technologies it has become easier than ever. Although society discusses their life, it’s
still
controversial how they grab our attention. To
begin
with, no one can deny that the
world
is diverse and there are various types of celebrities. For
some
of them money is not the main value while others life is full of luxurious materials,
but
we should remember that nothing is
easily
reachable in the
world
and we most appreciate their talent.
For example
, singers and actors are
people
who made themselves by their
own
, owing to the fact that they worked
industriously
during the years. From my point of view these celebrities who are millionaires
now
are role models for children,
because
they can
see
the consequences of
hard
work. They demonstrate the necessity of ambition and effort
that is
compulsory to have a successful career.
However
, this issue can
be considered
from the opposite angle. The
world
is full of celebrities who became popular without any achievements. There are dozens of popular
people
who
merely
married to someone or acted
wrongly
in order to
get
society’s attention. No one can deny that these
people
may have a detrimental influence on young
people
,
because
they may
think
that the tide will turn one
time and
they will achieve everything without diligence and success is
easily
accessible.
In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that the influence of celebrities can be detrimental and beneficial on children in equal measures.
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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