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Nowadays all new town planning should include public parks, shopping malls and sport facilities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

Nowadays all new town planning should include public parks, shopping malls and sport facilities. v. 1
It is believed that all new town planning of today ought to have amenities such as parks, shopping malls and sport facilities. In my opinion, I completely agree that these facilities must be incorporated in every town planning as it would greatly benefit both individuals and the society as a whole. To start with, amenities such as parks, shopping malls and sport centers are essential for every urban setting. This is so because they make life easier and more pleasurable for the citizens. For instance, having a city mall will make it very convenient to shop. Therefore, these structures ought to be put in place to ensure comfortable living for people which would ultimately impact positively on the welfare of the people. Another vital reason why these infrastructures are necessary is that they improve the social, mental and physical well-being of the masses. For example, people can make use of the sporting facilities such as the stadium to engage in sporting activities and exercises in order to keep their bodies fit. Again, families and friends can gather at the public park where they socialize and have some refreshing time together close to their residence. Furthermore, having these amenities in place will be of tremendous benefits to the community where it is located as it would serve as a means of generating income. This becomes possible because such facilities attract tourists and visitors in the town and consequently, the authorities could charge a fee for the use of these amenities. In other words, they can be of great economic value to the city. In conclusion, great features like a city mall, park, stadium and gymnasium should not be ignored in any urban planning as they are vital amenities that would impact positively on the lives of the people and the city.
It
is believed
that all new town planning of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
ought to have amenities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and sport facilities. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that these facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be incorporated
in every town planning as it would
greatly
benefit both individuals and the society as a whole.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, amenities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and sport centers are essential for every urban setting. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier and more pleasurable for the citizens.
For instance
, having a city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient to shop.
Therefore
, these structures ought to
be put
in place to ensure comfortable living for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which would
ultimately
impact
positively
on the welfare of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another vital reason why these infrastructures are necessary is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the social, mental and physical well-being of the masses.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the sporting facilities such as the stadium to engage in sporting activities and exercises in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their bodies fit. Again, families and friends can gather at the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
where they socialize and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refreshing time together close to their residence.

Furthermore
, having these amenities in place will be of tremendous benefits to the community where it
is located
as it would serve as a means of generating income. This becomes possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such facilities attract tourists and visitors in the town and
consequently
, the authorities could charge a fee for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these amenities.
In other words
, they can be of great economic value to the city.

In conclusion
, great features like a city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, stadium and gymnasium should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
in any urban planning as they are vital amenities that would impact
positively
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the city.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Nowadays all new town planning should include public parks, shopping malls and sport facilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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