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Now a lot of people in college are doing academic study should encourage them lo learn vocational skill like plumbers electricians Do you agree or disagree v.2

Now a lot of people in college are doing academic study should encourage them lo learn vocational skill like plumbers electricians v. 2
Education is the vital ingredient in the phase of a discipline and successful life. Some people believe that vocational training should be given priority rather then going for University level education. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs with example. Out of all the reason the foremost one is, knowledge becomes limited as well as the efficiency to solve problem also gets drained. To illustrate this, consider a case in which one student choose for higher education at university and other student selects to get vocational training and start earning. Definitely the person who choose vocational training will start earning but when the university learner graduates the skills, knowledge and the way of tackling problems would be much different. In addition to that, not only the problem solving skills but also decision making habit of sophomore who passed out from university would be higher. A further point is that, there would be higher chance of getting the qualitative jobs with higher packages and facilities if the level of education is higher. For instance there are two people sitting in interview and the recruiting team need to select only one of them then the person who has University degree will be given first preference compare to the one who have only vocational training to show. However, I could not overlook the different condition of the individuals. If a person is not from wealthy family and the responsibility is much high then one should immediately start vocation training after school. It is because of their question of survival. To conclude, the priority of doing vocational training or pursuing further education depends on the personal situation and decision must be made by analyzing not only the fruitful outcomes but also present condition of their standard of living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the vital ingredient in the phase of a discipline and successful life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
going for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. My inclination
is elaborated
in the ensuing paragraphs with example.

Out of all the reason the foremost one is, knowledge becomes limited
as well
as the efficiency to solve problem
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
drained. To illustrate this, consider a case in which one student choose for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and other student selects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning. Definitely the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
learner graduates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, knowledge and the way of tackling problems would be much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
In addition
to that, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
habit of sophomore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
passed out from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
would be higher.

A
further
point is that, there would be higher chance of getting the qualitative jobs with higher packages and facilities if the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is higher.
For instance
there are two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sitting in interview and the recruiting team need to select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one of them then the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
degree will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
first
preference compare to the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.

However
, I could not overlook the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
condition of the individuals. If a person is not from wealthy family and the responsibility is much high then one should immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
vocation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
after school. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their question of survival.

To conclude
, the priority of doing vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
or pursuing
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
depends on the personal situation and decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
by analyzing not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the fruitful outcomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
present condition of their standard of living.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Now a lot of people in college are doing academic study should encourage them lo learn vocational skill like plumbers electricians v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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