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Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of poverty in many countries is to set up businesses and improve trade links with rich countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? v.3

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of poverty in many countries is to set up businesses and improve trade links with rich countries. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 3
To numerous individuals, to decrease destitution in certain nations, they need to start organizations and make exchange associations with rich countries. Actually, I concur with this announcement because of various advantages from along these lines. Plus, different measures ought to be thought about. At first, while helping out rich nations in exchanging, their items, scenes, customs and culture will be presented progressively through gatherings and meetings. Subsequently, more individuals will think about their nations and presumably visit for their wonderful spots and milestones in their old neighbourhood. Additionally, it will be simpler for them to make a decent connection with others, and different nations will help them by giving cash or preparing their understudies for nothing. For instance, before, due to the closeness among Vietnam and Cuba, Cubans were happy to supply weapons for Vietnamese to be against the foes. On account of them, the Vietnamese could shield their territory from adversaries and build up the nation. However, a few systems must be considered to build up the poor nations. To start with, governments should concentrate on instruction's quality more. Since understudies profit by present day showing techniques and offices, they will increase enough information and abilities to add to the steady incremental in the economy and different fields later on. Second, they need to attempt to tackle some major issues in their nations, particularly the horror rate by forcing stricter laws, with the goal that the nations will be eminently as the most secure spots to travel. In this way, the travel industry will rise. At long last, burning through cash on the qualities would be perfect for the inhabitants do. For example, on the off chance that their nation has numerous oceans, at that point they ought to successfully misuse the fish assets there. In conclusion, I suppose that organizations coordination with rich country, alongside different measures, will melt away the neediness of one nation.
To numerous individuals, to decrease destitution in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
organizations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
exchange associations with rich countries. Actually, I concur with this announcement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of various advantages from along these lines. Plus,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
measures ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about.

At
first
, while helping out rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in exchanging, their items, scenes, customs and culture will
be presented
progressively
through gatherings and meetings.
Subsequently
, more individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and presumably visit for their wonderful spots and milestones in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Additionally
, it will be simpler for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decent connection with others, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by giving cash or preparing their understudies for nothing.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, due to the closeness among Vietnam and Cuba, Cubans were happy to supply weapons for Vietnamese to be against the foes. On account of them, the Vietnamese could shield their territory from adversaries and build up the nation.

However
, a few systems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
to build up the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should concentrate on instruction's quality more. Since understudies profit by present day showing techniques and offices, they will increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information and abilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the steady incremental in the economy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields later on. Second, they need to attempt to tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major issues in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
particularly
the horror rate by forcing stricter laws, with the goal that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will be
eminently
as the most secure spots to travel. In this way, the travel industry will rise. At long last, burning through cash on the qualities would be perfect for the inhabitants do.
For example
, on the off chance that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has numerous oceans, at that point they ought to
successfully
misuse the fish assets there.

In conclusion
, I suppose that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "organizations'" or "organization's"?
organizations
coordination with rich country, alongside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
measures, will melt away the neediness of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of poverty in many countries is to set up businesses and improve trade links with rich countries. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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