Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society? v.2

Technology is rapidly changing the lives of people around the world, creating a high demand for university graduates with a background in science. However, the number of students studying relevant subjects is well below the required level. This problem seems to be caused by outdated preconceptions, which determine young people’s choices today. One of those preconceptions is that certain subjects are better suited for men. Examples of these include mathematics, computer science, technologies and other fields of knowledge, which are totally dominated by males. In recent decades, a noticeable progress has been achieved by many countries in acknowledging that men and women are equally capable in science. Despite this big step towards equality, female employees may still feel unwelcome or, in some instances, face evident discrimination in male dominated work environments. As a result, many women with a natural inclination to science settle on studying humanities or social science at university, depriving society of their main talent. Another reason for the lack of science students spreads even wider. In the past, scientists were paid significantly less than professionals in such prestigious areas, such as business and law. Therefore, ambitious young people tended to choose highly paid occupations, disregarding their aptitude for science. Things have changed; today jobs in science are among those with the highest remuneration, but this trend is yet to be reflected in the university application numbers. For example, in the UK, over half of all international students still choose to study for a degree in business. Consequently, economies around the world are affected by an oversupply of social science graduates and a deficit of graduates with technical skills. Not surprisingly, complaints of fresh graduates who cannot find a job are frequent. To conclude, it seems some young people still perceive studying science as a route towards a mediocre income from a job where most of one’s colleagues are men. Thus, too many opt for a degree in social sciences, creating an imbalanced society where highly-educated university graduates struggle to find a skilled job.
Technology is
rapidly
changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world, creating

a high demand for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with a background in science.

However
, the number of students studying relevant subjects is well below the

required level. This problem seems to
be caused
by outdated

preconceptions, which determine young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

One of those preconceptions is that certain subjects are better suited for

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Examples of these include mathematics, computer science,

technologies and other fields of knowledge, which are
totally
dominated by

males. In recent decades,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “noticeable progress”.
a noticeable progress
has
been achieved
by

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in acknowledging that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are
equally
capable

in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Despite this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
step towards equality, female employees may
still


feel unwelcome or, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances, face evident discrimination in male dominated work environments.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women with a natural inclination to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
settle on studying humanities or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
at

university, depriving society of their main talent.

Another reason for the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
students spreads even wider. In the

past, scientists
were paid
significantly
less than professionals in such prestigious

areas, such as business and law.
Therefore
, ambitious young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tended

to choose
highly
paid occupations, disregarding their aptitude for science.

Things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are among those with the

highest remuneration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend is
yet
to
be reflected
in the university

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
application
numbers.
For example
, in the UK, over half of all international

students
still
choose to study for a degree in business.
Consequently
,

economies around the world are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by an
oversupply
of social science

graduates and a deficit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Not
surprisingly
,

complaints of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
who cannot find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are frequent.

To conclude
, it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
perceive studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as a

route towards a mediocre income from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
where most of one’s colleagues

are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Thus
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opt for a degree in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
, creating an

imbalanced society where
highly
-educated university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
struggle to

find a skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society?

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts