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Not enough people realise the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people's lack of awareness? How can people be made more aware? v.1

Not enough people realise the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people's lack of awareness? How can people be made more aware? v. 1
The natural world are the non man made creations, they include components of the physical universe. The components are not limited to the oceans, vegetations, air, resources and so on. Most individuals do not recognize the significance of the cosmos we live in and hence have little appreciation for it. This has led to an abusive relationship between the humans and the universe. Quite a number of people are ignorant of the fact that the environment and its resources are quite advantageous to the health of an average man. This is as a result of the increase in technology, population and fast development of cities. In cities and metropolitan areas, the rate of deforestation is on the high and increasing by the day, forgetting that these trees help in keeping surrounding areas cool and the air clean. An example of a city that has been overtaken by this rapid development, leaving no room for the natural is China. For example, there was a statistic released that the rate of carbon emission in China was at a dangerous point and still on the increase. There is a need to preserve the natural world and intimate people of the importance of this to their well being and life in general. The introduction of initiatives and campaigns to encourage a good relationship with the environment is a step in the right direction. Some time in Lagos State, a concept by the Ministry of Environment was introduced, it was called 'Plant a tree'. Here, everyone was encouraged to plant a tree, it ran for almost a month. Also, policies and regulation should be done to encourage development of green areas within any structure. For instance, in the policy and regulation of airport planning, an area for vegetation should be included which is under the scope of external works. In conclusion, the preservation of the natural sphere is a joint effort, that is, the government makes policies, regulations and measures to guide the environment and the populace adhere to these regulations. Preserving nature, not only improves the well being but also contributes to economic growth.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world are the non
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made creations, they include components of the physical universe. The components are not limited to the oceans,
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetations
, air, resources and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Most individuals do not recognize the significance of the cosmos we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and
hence
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
appreciation for it. This has led to an abusive relationship between the humans and the universe.

Quite a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are ignorant of the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and its resources are quite advantageous to the health of an average
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. This is
as a result
of the increase in technology, population and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
development of cities. In cities and metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the rate of deforestation is on the high and increasing by the day, forgetting that these trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in keeping surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
cool and the air clean. An example of a city that has
been overtaken
by this rapid development, leaving no room for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
is China.
For example
, there was a statistic released that the rate of carbon emission in China was at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
point and
still
on the increase.

There is a need to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world and intimate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the importance of this to their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
and life
in general
. The introduction of initiatives and campaigns to encourage a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a step in the right direction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time in Lagos State, a concept by the Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environment
was introduced
, it
was called
'Plant a tree'. Here, everyone
was encouraged
to plant a tree, it ran for almost a month.
Also
, policies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
should
be done
to encourage development of green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
within any structure.
For instance
, in the policy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
of airport planning, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for vegetation should
be included
which is under the scope of external works.

In conclusion
, the preservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
sphere is a joint effort,
that is
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
policies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
and measures to guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the populace adhere to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
. Preserving nature, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contributes to economic growth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Not enough people realise the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people's lack of awareness? How can people be made more aware? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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