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employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests and whether they married or single, some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.33

employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests and whether they married or single, some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. v. 33
It is believed, by a few individual that providing personal data is necessary and valid while some say that it is irrelevant, when applying for a job, some recruiters seek information, namely leisure-time activities, likes and dislikes and in addition, marital status as well. In my strong conviction, both statements are equally important to consider, because every individual has its own way of thinking. Firstly, when a person appears for an interview in reputed companies, HR maintains this data in file record, because it helps the employers to study the nature and status of the employees, for instance, Infosys limited, organized a competition “Reading Challenge” in which employees will read six books in a day and one who completes this challenge will be rewarded and the idea was conceived by HR, because she knew interests and hobbies of the workers. Furthermore, this methodology encouraged numerous personalities to follow their passions. As a result, workers observed that, they were more satisfied in the job and can feel a positive ambience. Secondly, there are a few different ideologies based people, who are unable to express themselves in front of a crowd and have privacy conflicts. According to the survey, conducted by a student in 2018, he concluded, people having the reserve nature usually put a question mark, when they are asked about their interests and hobbies and in addition to this, they frequently hide status, such as married or single from their colleagues. Apart from this, a study also proved that, such workers, even put single in their socially active profiles, although they are married. To conclude, every worker needs some space and employers must give preference to their views accordingly. Owners should put an option while they obtains such information in order to maintain the behavioural records as well as privacy.
It
is believed
, by a few individual that providing personal data is necessary and valid while
some
say that it is irrelevant, when applying for a job,
some
recruiters seek information,
namely
leisure-time activities, likes and dislikes and
in addition
, marital status
as well
. In my strong conviction, both statements are
equally
important
to consider,
because
every individual has its
own
way of thinking.

Firstly
, when a person appears for an interview in reputed
companies
, HR maintains this data in file record,
because
it
helps
the employers to study the nature and status of the employees,
for instance
,
Infosys
limited, organized a competition “Reading Challenge” in which employees will read six books in a day and one who completes this challenge will
be rewarded
and the
idea
was conceived
by HR,
because
she knew interests and hobbies of the
workers
.
Furthermore
, this methodology encouraged numerous personalities to follow their passions.
As a result
,
workers
observed that, they were more satisfied in the job and can feel a
positive
ambience.

Secondly
, there are a few
different
ideologies based
people
, who are unable to express themselves in front of a crowd and have privacy conflicts. According to the survey, conducted by a student in 2018, he concluded,
people
having the reserve nature
usually
put a question mark, when they
are asked
about their interests and hobbies and
in addition
to this, they
frequently
hide
status, such as married or single from their colleagues. Apart from this, a study
also
proved that, such
workers
, even put single in their
socially
active profiles, although they
are married
.

To conclude
, every
worker
needs
some
space and employers
must
give preference to their views
accordingly
. Owners should put an option while they
obtains
such information in order to maintain the
behavioural
records
as well
as privacy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests and whether they married or single, some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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