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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 5
Disciplinary actions are crucial to maintaining law and order in a society. It is therefore thought by some people that the penalty for a certain crime ought to be permanent, while others contend that the situations and the impetus for offending have to be considered when making a decision on the consequence of breaking the law. In my opinion, I completely agree that the conditions of an unlawful act need to be put into consideration before retribution for a just and fair verdict to take place and also to give room for human rights to be exercised. On the one hand, some people think that the benefits of inflicting a fixed punishment on offenders far outweigh its downsides. This is because, it will make criminals think twice before they commit any wrong, as they are aware that punishment is strict and immediate without any chance to defend themselves. One very good illustration of this, is the declined rate of crimes in some countries such as Saudi Arabia that adopts harsh penal measures. Another reason is that, it will probably save a lot of time and money that could otherwise be directed for use in much needed sectors such as health and education. On the other hand, some set of individuals believes that there are some forgivable circumstances around a particular cruel act and I am totally in support. In other words, it is just reasonable to dissect all the conditions that surround a crime prior to judgement. This is to ensure that an innocent person is not wrongly punished. For example, a person that commits murder in the act of self-defence, the penalty to such should not amount to a life sentence. Also, the implementation of a strict approach to persecute criminals without considering all aspects that lead to the crime is a denial of the human rights law. In conclusion, while opinions may vary, I strongly believe that events surrounding a crime be examined before passing judgement to an alleged offender.
Disciplinary actions are crucial to maintaining law and order in a society. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the penalty for a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
ought to be permanent, while others contend that the situations and the impetus for offending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be considered
when making a decision on the consequence of breaking the law. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the conditions of an unlawful act need to
be put
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
retribution for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
verdict to take place and
also
to give room for human rights to
be exercised
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the benefits of inflicting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishment on offenders far outweigh its downsides. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they commit any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, as they are aware that punishment is strict and immediate without any chance to defend themselves. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this, is the declined rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries such as Saudi Arabia that adopts harsh penal measures. Another reason is that, it will
probably
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and money that could
otherwise
be directed
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
sectors such as health and education.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
set of individuals believes that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
forgivable circumstances around a particular cruel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
act and
I am
totally
in support.
In other words
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reasonable to dissect all the conditions that surround a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
prior to judgement. This is to ensure that an innocent person is not
wrongly
punished.
For example
, a person that commits murder in the act of
Possible spelling mistake. 'self-defence' is British English.
self-defence
, the penalty to such should not amount to a life sentence.
Also
, the implementation of a strict approach to persecute criminals without considering all aspects that lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a denial of the human rights law.

In conclusion
, while opinions may vary, I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
surrounding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
be examined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
passing judgement to an alleged offender.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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