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niaPart 2Describe a person who has done a lot of work to help people. You should say: Who this person is or was Where this person lives or livedWhat he or she has done to help peopleAnd explain how you know about his person v.1

niaPart 2Describe a person who has done a lot of work to help people. You should say: Who this person is or was Where this person lives or livedWhat he or she has done to help peopleAnd explain how you know about his person v. 1
It is imperative for people to understand their passion and focus on that to be more effective in their chosen career. It is believed that it is more beneficial to learn this early on, hence some argued that children should start to choose their own subject of interest even before they reach the age of ten. However, others are still confident that the usual subjects should be learned at school. This essay would tackle both arguments, but after all, I strongly believe that the latter statement should prevail. Because of too many lessons that needs to be learned and tedious school requirements to pass, some people often see this as unnecessary for children’s development. Often than not, focusing on a particular subject of interest is being neglected because other subjects require a significant amount of time and effort in order to pass. As a result, it will hamper children’s opportunity to explore their interest and develop their skills to be more equip in that area in the near future. Moreover, studies suggest that it is more beneficial for to learn something at an early age as children have the ability to grasp and understand easier what ought to learn. Therefore, people could have a chance to be an expert in that field if could be learned and well-focused as early as possible. On the other hand, children could still change what they like if they could have a chance to explore other things, then weigh in and decide what fit with their skills and ability. This would be possible only if they are given a chance to learn different subject matter. Additionally, there are various aspects of life which involves the need of knowledge from different field of studies. For example, people should learn mathematics to be able to do a simple arithmetic while grocery shopping and using public transportation. Another thing is, in order to communicate effectively and know proper grammar and sentence construction, it is important to still have formal education in a specific language even though it is their native tongue. Being educated in different subjects is vital factor to continue the people’s way of living. In my opinion, I argued that children should still need to learn the usual subjects as part of their school curriculum as it is more beneficial to their personal growth and development of their standard of living.
It is imperative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand their passion and focus on that to be more effective in their chosen career. It
is believed
that it is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this early on,
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of interest even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they reach the age of ten.
However
, others are
still
confident that the usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be learned
at school. This essay would tackle both arguments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after all
, I
strongly
believe that the latter statement should prevail.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lessons that needs to
be learned
and tedious school requirements to pass,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as unnecessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.
Use "oftener" to make a comparison with this adjective.
Often
than not, focusing on a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of interest is
being neglected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
require a significant amount of time and effort in order to pass.
As a result
, it will hamper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
opportunity to explore their interest and develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to be more equip in that area in the near future.
Moreover
, studies suggest that it is more beneficial for to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something at an early age as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the ability to grasp and understand easier what ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could have a chance to be an expert in that field if could
be learned
and well-focused as early as possible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
what they like if they could have a chance to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things, then weigh in and decide what fit with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and ability. This would be possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
.
Additionally
, there are various aspects of life which involves the need of knowledge from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
field of studies.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
mathematics to be able to do a simple arithmetic while grocery shopping and using public transportation. Another thing is, in order to communicate
effectively
and know proper grammar and sentence construction, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
still
have formal education in a specific language
even though
it is their native tongue.
Being educated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is vital factor to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of living.

In my opinion, I argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
still
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as part of their school curriculum as it is more beneficial to their personal growth and development of their standard of living.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay niaPart 2Describe a person who has done a lot of work to help people. You should say: Who this person is or was Where this person lives or livedWhat he or she has done to help peopleAnd explain how you know about his person v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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