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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v.1

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1
These days, the ways that children consume their leisure time are quite different from the past because of the development of modern technologies. Regardless there are some drawbacks, it seems that the positive impacts have a bigger influence. On one hand, there is a vast range of advantages that children could gain when they spend time on using cutting-edge devices. First of all, nowadays their parents might have less time to spend on playing with them, therefore some electrical items such as mobile phones, personal computers and cameras could be a great solution in order to avoid getting bored. Secondly, applying into learning also is a huge benefit that children could obtain through innovative technologies. To be more specific, children who use new technologies in studying seem learning better who are not because they could not only get access to up-to-date information but also use it anywhere and anytime instantly by new equipment. For example, learning a foreign language requires a lot of time and repetition, children could utilize functions of modern computers in both ways: entertainment and studying. children could watch comedy shows while learning grammar and vocabularies from it. On the other hand, it is true that some negative influence could affect children terribly. In some cases, a lot of children are distracted from studying or healthy activities due to immersion in using new technologies. That is to say, teenagers have immature personalities, hence, they could be easily addicted to use state-of-the-art technologies including social media, games so as to entertain themselves. As a result, lack of time spending on outdoor activities is inevitable. Clearly, this detrimental effect related to some horrible impacts such as eye-sight problems, obesity. In conclusion, despite a few drawbacks could be established, the variety of huger benefits is much more significant and people nowadays should let their children approaching modern technologies without hesitation.
These days, the ways that
children
consume their leisure
time
are quite
different
from the past
because
of the development of modern
technologies
. Regardless there are
some
drawbacks, it seems that the
positive
impacts have a bigger influence.

On one hand, there is a vast range of advantages that
children
could gain when they spend
time
on using cutting-edge devices.
First of all
, nowadays their parents might have less
time
to spend on playing with them,
therefore
some
electrical items such as mobile phones, personal computers and cameras could be a great solution in order to avoid getting bored.
Secondly
, applying into
learning
also
is a huge benefit that
children
could obtain through innovative
technologies
. To be more specific,
children
who
use
new
technologies
in studying seem
learning
better who are not
because
they could not
only
get
access to up-to-date information
but
also
use
it anywhere and anytime
instantly
by new equipment.
For example
,
learning
a foreign language requires
a lot of
time
and repetition,
children
could utilize functions of modern computers in both ways: entertainment and studying.
children
could
watch
comedy
shows
while
learning
grammar and vocabularies from it.

On the other hand
, it is true that
some
negative
influence could affect
children
terribly
. In
some
cases,
a lot of
children
are distracted
from studying or healthy activities due to immersion in using new
technologies
.
That is
to say,
teenagers
have immature personalities,
hence
, they could be
easily
addicted to
use
state-of-the-art
technologies
including social media, games
so as to
entertain themselves.
As a result
, lack of
time
spending on outdoor activities is inevitable.
Clearly
, this detrimental effect related to
some
horrible impacts such as eye-sight problems, obesity.

In conclusion
, despite a few drawbacks could
be established
, the variety of huger benefits is much more significant and
people
nowadays should
let
their
children
approaching modern
technologies
without hesitation.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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