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Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v.1

Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 1
Technology becomes essentials in our life as it invades every house and workplace. Computers, iPads, smart phones, etc. Became popular and mandatory in our daily life routine, across all ages. They have many implications in our life, mainly in our Children, as they become attracted and addicted. They prefer spending most of their time on computers and video games which, as confirmed by studies, has bright side and drawbacks as well. Children have become attached to technology. Some, but not limited to, the advantage of that is they have become expert in most recent electronic devices. They can get any information needed, do their homework and school projects by themselves. There are plenty of programs, applications and online games which became the most popular tool for entertainment. Some of them are really useful and valuable as it develops the kids knowledge and skills if the appropriate programs or application is being used. As such, technology represents an open gate for learning and efficient tool for entertainment. On the other hand, technology has drawbacks for the users in general and on children in particular. Spending more time on using computers might lead to addiction. Kids became attached to their devices and cannot enjoy the free time without them. In addition, kids who are spending their free time on computers become socially isolated. That affects their quality Family time, relationship with friends in a negative way. These are some of the disadvantages of technology on our children which have been higlighted and concluded from many studies and researches. To conclude, technology is double-edged sword as it has pros and cons toward our kids. Although the bright side of the technolgy is well distiguished, it should be used in an appropriate manner under the superviosion of the parents or some adult in the family. This can help in limiting the damage that can occur as a consequence.
Technology
becomes
essentials in our life as it invades every
house
and workplace. Computers, iPads, smart phones, etc. Became popular and mandatory in our daily life routine, across all ages. They have
many
implications in our life,
mainly
in our Children, as they
become
attracted and addicted. They prefer spending most of their
time
on computers and video games which, as confirmed by studies, has bright side and drawbacks
as well
.

Children have
become
attached to
technology
.
Some
,
but
not limited to, the advantage of
that is
they have
become
expert in most recent electronic devices. They can
get
any information needed, do their homework and school projects by themselves. There are
plenty
of programs, applications and online games which became the most popular tool for entertainment.
Some
of them are
really
useful and valuable as it develops the
kids
knowledge and
skills
if the appropriate programs or application is being
used
. As such,
technology
represents an open gate for learning and efficient tool for entertainment.

On the other hand
,
technology
has drawbacks for the users
in general
and on children
in particular
. Spending more
time
on using computers might lead to addiction.
Kids
became attached to their devices and cannot enjoy the free
time
without them.
In addition
,
kids
who are spending their free
time
on computers
become
socially
isolated. That affects their quality Family
time
, relationship with friends in a
negative
way. These are
some of the
disadvantages of
technology
on our children which have been
higlighted
and concluded from
many
studies and researches.

To conclude
,
technology
is double-edged sword as it has pros and cons toward our
kids
. Although the bright side of the
technolgy
is well
distiguished
, it should be
used
in an appropriate manner
under the
superviosion
of the parents or
some
adult in the family. This can
help
in limiting the damage that can occur as a consequence.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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