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New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion? v. 2
In today’s technologically advanced world, where revolutionary advancements in the field of E-commerce has drastically changed the shopping habits of the people. Leading to, enhancing the lifestyle of the society. However, such a development has resulted in certain social issues related to health and psychology. In my opinion, although technology have had positive impact on the consumer, it also have produced few negative trends. Firstly, one of the most significant developments in the last couple of decades is that of E-commerce medium of shopping, in which customers can purchase anything from anywhere using websites such as Amazon and Alibaba. Such a phenomenon made peoples’ life way easier than it was a couple of decades ago. For example, in previous times to purchase a watch, an individual had to physically visit various shops to find and negotiate a best price. Whereas, today, watches can be purchased that too by comparing and finding best prices. Secondly, with the transforming technology, the citizenry is using digital currencies such as Visa, Master cards, and PayPal etc. Whereas, in the past, people used to rely solely on hard paper money. Such a drastic development has made it possible for the government and the banks to server customers in much more efficient and seamless manner. Thirdly, technology has made it possible for people to do international shopping through online channels which was not possible earlier. Furthermore, customers can today share gifts with their loved ones from around any corner of the globe through best-in-class technologically driven cargo services. On the other hand, with the rapid transformations in the technology, consumers purchasing habits have increased to unprecedented levels. As a result, they indulge themselves in frequent and over-shopping. As a result leading to financial breakdown and psychological impact. For example, people shop using credit cards way more than their purchasing power leading to later financial concerns. To conclude, it is undeniable fact that technology in the form of internet has become primary source of consumers purchases and has a vital role in the way the life of people has evolved in both positive as well as in negative means.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
technologically
advanced world, where revolutionary advancements in the field of E-commerce has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the shopping habits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Leading to, enhancing the lifestyle of the society.
However
, such a development has resulted in certain social issues related to health and psychology. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the consumer, it
also
Did you mean "has"?
have
produced few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends.

Firstly
, one of the most significant developments in the last couple of decades is that of E-commerce medium of shopping, in which customers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything from anywhere using websites such as Amazon and Alibaba. Such a phenomenon made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
life way easier than it was a couple of decades ago.
For example
, in previous times to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, an individual had to
physically
visit various shops to find and negotiate
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best price. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
that too by comparing and finding best prices.
Secondly
, with the transforming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the citizenry is using digital currencies such as Visa, Master cards, and PayPal etc. Whereas, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to rely
solely
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
paper money. Such a drastic development has made it possible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the banks to server customers in much more efficient and seamless manner.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do international shopping through online channels which was not possible earlier.
Furthermore
, customers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
share gifts with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones from around any corner of the globe through best-in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
technologically
driven cargo services.

On the other hand
, with the rapid transformations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, consumers purchasing habits have increased to unprecedented levels.
As a result
, they indulge themselves in frequent and over-shopping.
As a result
leading to financial breakdown and psychological impact.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop using credit cards way more than their purchasing power leading to later financial concerns.

To conclude
, it is undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the form of internet has become primary source of consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
and has a vital role in the way the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has evolved in both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
means.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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