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Private collectors have been selling and buying fossils, the petrified remains of ancient organisms, ever since the eighteenth century. In recent years, however, the sale of fossils, particularly of dinosaurs and other large vertebrates, has grown into a v.1

Private collectors have been selling and buying fossils, the petrified remains of ancient organisms, ever since the eighteenth century. In recent years, however, the sale of fossils, particularly of dinosaurs and other large vertebrates, has grown into a v. 1
It is important to consider the importance of homework. While some people may argue that it is old-fashioned, I believe that it is still an integral part of the school. On the one hand, those who argue that homework is outdated may say that it wastes students’ precious time. This is because most students will have to spend hours after school to finish their assignments rather than spending time on the internet. As a consequence, these young learners may suffer from a scarcity in their knowledge about new technologies. For example, research conducted by pedagogical experts at the Egyptian ministry of education in 2019 declared that school students who still have to do their homework are less likely to be familiar with technological advancements than their peers. Had it not been for these daily assignments, these young people would have had enhanced awareness about new technologies. On the other hand, I believe that homework can help school students to enhance their academic achievements. This is since these tasks can urge these youngsters to study hard despite their young ages. As a result, this would develop these students’ abilities, which may, in turn, prepare them for their professional lives. Conversely, if these young learners did not improve their capabilities with such assignments, they would be exposed to the risk of deteriorated careers. For instance, a paper published by Cambridge University in 2109 revealed that students who still have homework within their schools’ curriculums are more expected to be successful in their jobs than others by 50%. In conclusion, although some people may think that homework is outdated as it wastes students’ time, I oppose this, and I believe that it is crucial for enhancing students’ academic achievements.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned, I believe that it is
still
an integral part of the school.

On the one hand, those who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is outdated
may say that it wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
precious time. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend hours after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to finish their assignments
rather
than spending time on the internet. As a consequence, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
learners may suffer from a scarcity in their knowledge about new technologies.
For example
, research conducted by pedagogical experts at the Egyptian ministry of education in 2019 declared that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
are less likely to be familiar with technological advancements than their peers. Had it not been for these daily assignments, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would have had enhanced awareness about new technologies.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance their academic achievements. This is since these tasks can urge these youngsters to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
despite their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ages.
As a result
, this would develop these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
abilities, which may, in turn, prepare them for their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Conversely
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
learners did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their capabilities with such assignments, they would
be exposed
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of deteriorated careers.
For instance
, a paper published by Cambridge University in 2109 revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
still
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
within their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
curriculums are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be successful in their jobs than others by 50%.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is outdated
as it wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
time, I oppose this, and I believe that it is crucial for enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
academic achievements.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Private collectors have been selling and buying fossils, the petrified remains of ancient organisms, ever since the eighteenth century. In recent years, however, the sale of fossils, particularly of dinosaurs and other large vertebrates, has grown into a v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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