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In cities and town all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v.2

In cities and town all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 2
In the recent two to three decades, with the technological innovations and progress in the field of automobiles, there have been swelling numbers of vehicles on the roads all around the world. This has resulted in lot of traffic and this, posing a huge problem. There are quite a few reasons for such a situation; however, some productive suggestions can resolve the problem to a large extent. Both the aspects are discussed further. Out of all the reasons, the most common is that there are more numbers of cars and other private vehicles. This is because that cars, in the recent years, have become affordable, and so more people buy. Also, cars are more of a dire need especially in the urban areas, rather than a status symbol or a luxury as in the past. The other cause that can be pointed out is the unreliability of the public transport facility, it is always overcrowded. Therefore, instead of waiting endlessly and packed like sardines, people use their own vehicles, thus causing traffic congestion. People today, prefer to travel in comfort as per their time and with flexibility. Discussing the remedies for the high volume of traffic, the foremost suggestion is to upgrade the public transport facilities. They should be more efficient, more flexible, comfortable and reliable. This and attract more people to commute by them. Another idea is to levy congestion tax. This can help to radically reduce traffic. A good example of this is London. Where there is a penalty for overcrowding roads, there has been a remarkable decrease seen as a result. Collecting tall taxes also can be a good suggestion. Moreover, there can be smart ways applied. For instance, traffic smart phone application suggests the most efficient time saving routes and manufacturing of smart cars. Thus, to conclude, it can be said that indeed the traffic volume is a big issue in the world at present. However, it should be immediately addressed by the government of the nations and the vigilant citizens so as to save the world from severe environmental damage, fuel crisis and slow moving traffic.
In the recent two to three decades, with the technological innovations and progress

in the field of automobiles, there have been swelling numbers of vehicles on the roads all

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
around
the world. This has resulted in
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and this, posing a huge problem. There
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


quite a few reasons for such a situation;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
productive suggestions can resolve

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
problem to a large extent. Both the aspects
are discussed
further
.

Out of all the reasons, the most common is that there are more numbers of cars and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
private vehicles. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that cars, in the recent years, have become affordable,

and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Also
, cars are more of a dire need
especially
in the urban areas,

rather
than a status symbol or a luxury as in the past. The other cause that can
be pointed
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
out


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
the unreliability of the public transport facility, it is always overcrowded.
Therefore
,
instead


of waiting
endlessly
and packed like sardines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles,
thus
causing

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
traffic
congestion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, prefer to travel in comfort as per their time and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
with


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
flexibility
.

Discussing the remedies for the high volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, the foremost suggestion is to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
upgrade
the public transport facilities. They should be more efficient, more flexible,

comfortable and reliable. This and attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commute by them. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
levy congestion tax. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
radically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


London. Where there is a penalty for overcrowding roads, there has been a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
remarkable


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
decrease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a result
. Collecting tall taxes
also
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
suggestion.
Moreover
, there

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can
be smart ways applied.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
smart phone application suggests the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
most


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
efficient
time saving routes and manufacturing of smart cars.

Thus
,
to conclude
, it can
be said
that
indeed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
volume is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue in the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
world
at present.
However
, it should be immediately addressed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the

nations and the vigilant citizens
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
save the world from severe environmental damage,

fuel crisis and slow moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS essay In cities and town all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
25 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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