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It is said that people's life now is becoming more and more stressful. What are the causes and how to solve it? v.2

It is said that people's life now is becoming more and more stressful. What are the causes and how to solve it? v. 2
People currently are more under the pressure due to the economy flourish leaps and bounds. There are some reasons behind this point of view and some several solutions should be proposed to reduce this real situation. There are two primary reasons why people are often exhausted. One reason is that individuals have to face with the hectic schedule to keep abreast of information and improve own knowledge. Because of the state-of-the-art facilities is being offered into daily life and the more competition in the workplace which account for over half of their spare time. Another reason is the duty of supporting a family including taking care of parents and give their offspring a decent education. They have to be consumed with earning money to finance their family. Feasible solutions should be produced to tackle these aforementioned problems so that people would have a laid-back attitude. The first measure would be people should set aside time to play sport, join in the sports club. It cannot deny the fact that sport not only helps them get into shape but also make them be full of beans. Additionally, individuals should achieve work-life balance. Although money is important, health is believed to be much more crucial. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the stress that individuals are facing to.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
currently
are more under the pressure due to the economy flourish leaps and bounds. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this point of view and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
several solutions should
be proposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this real situation.

There are two primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exhausted. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with the hectic schedule to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the state-of-the-art facilities is
being offered
into daily life and the more competition in the workplace which account for over half of their spare time. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the duty of supporting a family including taking care of parents and give their offspring a decent education. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be consumed
with earning money to finance their family.

Feasible solutions should
be produced
to tackle these aforementioned problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have a laid-back attitude. The
first
measure would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should set aside time to play sport,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in the sports club. It cannot deny the fact that sport not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into shape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them be full of beans.
Additionally
, individuals should achieve work-life balance. Although money is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, health
is believed
to be much more crucial.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that individuals are facing to.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay It is said that people's life now is becoming more and more stressful. What are the causes and how to solve it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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