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ın the modern life, family breakdown and divorce rates are increasing. Solution and discuss it. v.1

ın the modern life, family breakdown and divorce rates are increasing. Solution and discuss it. v. 1
All around the world, the number of divorce is rising and family connections are not close as much as in the past. It is believed that the people prefer alone, mostly than with family, from this reason a nuclear family structure is getting fragile. In this essay, I intend to explore the sources of this problem along with some possible to it. In the modern life, individuals want to live lonely and everybody goes on their own way without taking any such responsibility such as a spouse or a youth. This is because, the proportion of the extended family number is declining when compared with single adults or or broken families. Even if a person decides to married, after a short time she or he wants to break up from spouse. For example, İzmir city which is located in the west of Turkey has the most divorce rate. Surprisingly, the more modern and happier city than other developed provinces. It may be reflects marriage can not affect remarkably to personal happiness. On the other hand, single mum or dad impacts their kid's growth in a bad way. A kid grown up in like family, some physiological issues can be appeared to not observe a healthy parent relationship with the child. Due to parents should be thinking twice before divorce and they get some help Pediatric doctors for their youth. That is to say, not only personal life affected by it, also all in all society. It can be reduced that saying child health, and some advantages can be offered family with children, such as tax free car, free baby diaper. In conclusion, I restate individuals take care about own happiness in the modern life. They choose to live alone, some of them never marriage, others get divorced. Doubtless, children are impacted most. Thus, the people should be though primarily their child's happiness.
All around the world, the number of divorce is rising and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
connections are not close as much as in the past. It
is believed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer alone,
Use "(mostly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
mostly
than with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, from this reason a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure is getting fragile. In this essay, I intend to explore the sources of this problem along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible to it.

In the modern life, individuals want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
lonely and everybody goes on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way without taking any such responsibility such as a spouse or a youth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the proportion of the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
number is declining when compared with single adults
Possible typo: you repeated a word
or or
broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Even if a person decides to married, after a short time she or he wants to break up from spouse.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
İzmir
city which
is located
in the west of Turkey has the most divorce rate.
Surprisingly
, the more modern and happier city than other developed provinces. It
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
Consider using the past participle "reflected"?
reflects
marriage can not affect
remarkably
to personal happiness.

O
n the other hand,
single mum or dad impacts their kid's growth in a b
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ad
way. A kid grown up in like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
physiological issues can
be appeared
to not observe a healthy parent relationship with the child. Due to parents should be thinking twice b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
efore
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
divorce and
they g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
et
s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
h
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
elp
Pediatric doctors for their youth. T
hat is
to say, not o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
nly
personal life a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ffected
by it, a
lso
all in all society. It can be r
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
educed
that saying child health, and s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
advantages can
be offered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with children, such as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
tax free
car, free baby diaper.

I
n conclusion,
I restate individuals take care about o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
wn
happiness in the modern life. They choose to l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive
alone, s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
of them never marriage, others g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
et
divorced. Doubtless, children
are impacted
most. T
hus,
the p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
should be though
primarily
their child's happiness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay ın the modern life, family breakdown and divorce rates are increasing. Solution and discuss it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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