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International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? v.4

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? v. 4
The advantages associated with global tourism are obvious. However, there are also concerns about its effects on the ecosystem as well as the indigenous. While there are minor demerits to international travels, I am of the opinion that the significant advantages surpasses the minor demerits. Admittedly, there are less significant demerits to travelling across borders. The first is pollution. Unlike local travels which can be made with the use of cars or trains, travelling across borders is mostly via aeroplanes, which is powered by fuels and emit carbon dioxide. This gas is known to pollute the atmosphere; thus, might make the ecosystem less habitable for living organisms. Another minor pitfall of international travel is the negative effect to the health of the travellers. When travelling, the distance between the planes and the sun is at the minimum; thereby, exposing these people to ultraviolet rays from the sun. Accumulation of these rays is thought to cause serious diseases. For example, a research done at Harvard showed that 70% of people who develop cancer in 2019 were frequent air travellers while the remaining 30% rarely travel via planes. Despite the minor drawbacks above, there are important benefits to international tourism. The first major advantages is revenue. Without a doubt, countries with many tourist sites boasts of an influx of tourists to their countries, which translates to an increase in revenue. For instance, an individual travelling to Germany for vacation will book a flight, accommodation, transportation and eat meals as well. All these generates income for the country. In addition, travelling across the globe is a means of education. More than just entertainment, many schools and colleges make use of sight seeing and global travels to impact knowledge to students outside the classroom. In conclusion, even though, travelling across the globe has its advantages, there are worries with regard to its negative effects. In my opinion, although there are minor pitfalls of international travelling, I believe the more significant pros outweigh the insignificant cons.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
associated with global tourism are obvious.
However
, there are
also
concerns about its effects on the ecosystem
as well
as the indigenous. While there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
demerits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
, I am of the opinion that the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
surpasses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
demerits.

Admittedly
, there are less significant demerits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
across borders. The
first
is pollution. Unlike local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
which can
be made
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cars or trains,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
across borders is
mostly
via
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, which
is powered
by fuels and emit carbon dioxide. This gas
is known
to pollute the atmosphere;
thus
, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the ecosystem less habitable for living organisms. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
pitfall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to the health of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, the distance between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
and the sun is at the minimum; thereby, exposing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to ultraviolet rays from the sun. Accumulation of these rays is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to cause serious diseases.
For example
, a research done at Harvard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 70% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who develop cancer in 2019 were frequent air
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
while the remaining 30% rarely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
via
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
.

Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
drawbacks above, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism. The
first
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
is revenue. Without a doubt, countries with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist sites boasts of an influx of tourists to their countries, which translates to an increase in revenue.
For instance
, an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to Germany for vacation will book a flight, accommodation, transportation and eat meals
as well
. All
The verb 'generates' is singular. Did you mean: "This generates" or "these generate"?
these generates
income for the country.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
across the globe is a means of education. More than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of sight seeing and global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
to impact knowledge to students outside the classroom.

In conclusion
,
even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
across the globe has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
, there are worries with regard to its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. In my opinion, although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
pitfalls of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, I believe the more significant pros outweigh the insignificant cons.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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