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Museums for many years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the internet and museums will not need in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.2

Museums for many years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the internet and museums will not need in the future. v. 2
Museums for many years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the interne Undoubtedly, museums can provide immense knowledge and importance of culture. Today, people access to a computer in order to search for information more faster than go to the museum. Therefore society thinks that the museum is not necessary for the future generation. I firmly disagree with this view due to some reasons. To begin with, although the internet can ensure much information, direct experience with any object is not possible in the website. When people visit any museum, they could not enjoy it but also could do research and study. For example, nowadays the pupil do visit the museums for the project because there will arrange everything chronologically which save their time and energy. More over, some museums even organise some entertainment for public. Thus, visiting museum is not only bestow direct feeling but also can enjoy. Another justification is that preserving a museum is greater evidence for future generation and consequently it should be protected. It also, essentials to understand the culture and tradition of ancestors and the items they had used such as coins and so on. Therefore, it would be much easier at the museum than found at the computer because it has millions of information and hard to found it. Furthermore, direct visit can impart accurate information whereas on the Internet they may find false information. To conclude, though the computer can provide many information within a single click, the museums bestow the real feeling object and research tool for students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
interne


Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can provide immense knowledge and importance of culture.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
access to a computer in order to search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
than go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not necessary for the future generation. I
firmly
disagree with this view due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, although the internet can ensure much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, direct experience with any object is not possible
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the website".
in the website
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, they could not enjoy it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
could do research and study.
For example
, nowadays the pupil do visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
for the project
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will arrange everything
chronologically
which save their time and energy. More over,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
even
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment for public.
Thus
, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bestow direct feeling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can enjoy.

Another justification is that preserving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is greater evidence for future generation and
consequently
it should
be protected
. It
also
, essentials to understand the culture and tradition of ancestors and the items they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
such as coins and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, it would be much easier at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
than found at the computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to found it.
Furthermore
, direct visit can impart accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
whereas on the Internet they may find false information.

To conclude
, though the computer can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
within a single click, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
bestow the real feeling object and research tool for students.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Museums for many years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the internet and museums will not need in the future. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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