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Crime rates in cities continues to a problem. rWhat are the reason for this? What problems might this cause? v.2

Crime rates in cities continues to a problem. rWhat are the reason for this? What problems might this cause? v. 2
It is true that the crime rate has been increased significantly in many countries. This essay will discuss the prime reasons for peaking the highest crime rate in urban areas and its problems which effect on society. The first and foremost reason for rising criminal activities in a town is that the family issues especially, people from the broken or unstable family. Those people always have a tendency to do culprit with their friends in order to earn money or other personnel needs may be lack of attention from their family. In cities, it is more chances to involve crime with the help of modern technology like mobile phone than in the country side. Another issue is that unwanted peer relationship which creates criminal activity among people especially youngsters. This is due to the fact that the majority of offenders are often addicted to drugs, excessive alcohol intake, theft and It may lead to criminal behaviour. Consequently, these situations sometimes make them worse and eager to involve unusual activities in their life particularly, when people live in town. The criminal activities will adversely affect both individual and society. Firstly, people who involved in certain activity will be isolated from the family and the community. This is because, people would be panicked about them, even if they bail from prison. As a result, many of them feel loneliness in society and also sometimes they may not get a decent job. Moreover, soaring crime rate in a city will seriously impact on the income of a nation especially in tourism sector. This is because, the number of tourists will be declined in that area instead they will find alternative places to visit. Hence, it is clear that massive crime rate not only generate a problem in family, but it also ruin the source of revenue. To sum up, higher crime rate certainly creates many problems in a nation. However, this can be controlled easily if the authority takes proper measures right time.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has
been increased
significantly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. This essay will discuss the prime reasons for peaking the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in urban areas and its problems which effect on society.

The
first
and foremost reason for rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in a town is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
issues
especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the broken or unstable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always have a tendency to do culprit with their friends in order to earn money or other personnel needs may be lack of attention from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In cities, it is more chances to involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of modern technology like mobile phone than in the country side. Another issue is that unwanted peer relationship which creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
youngsters.
This is due to the fact that
the majority of offenders are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
addicted to drugs, excessive alcohol intake, theft and It may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Consequently
, these situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them worse and eager to involve unusual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their life
particularly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in town.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will
adversely
affect both individual and society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who involved in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
will
be isolated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the community. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be panicked
about them, even if they bail from prison.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them feel loneliness in society and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job.
Moreover
, soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in a city will
seriously
impact on the income of a nation
especially
in tourism sector. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the number of tourists will
be declined
in that area
instead
they will find alternative places to visit.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generate a problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "ruins"?
ruin
the source of revenue.

To sum up, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
certainly
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in a nation.
However
, this can
be controlled
easily
if the authority takes proper measures right time.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Crime rates in cities continues to a problem. rWhat are the reason for this? What problems might this cause? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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