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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree? v.8

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 8
A section of society asserts that homeless people must be given financial help. In my opinion, I agree with this partially as a myopic solution because people without any shelter of their own should be encouraged for education or their skills should be enhanced to help them settle in long term. To begin with, people who don't have any place to stay are very unfortunate and it is the duty of the community to extend their helping hand to make them available what they are deprived of. Any kind of financial help is always appreciated hence the near term needs are fulfilled. Clothes, food and shelter are the basic necessities of any human being for survival. For example, many charitable organisations raise money to help such people. Nevertheless, from an enlightened standpoint, government and charitable organisations should also focus more on the strategic solution of this problem. They need to be provided with education and followed by other professional skills which will eventually make them self sufficient and not dependent on any kind of donations. For example, governments should open up training centres which would emphasise on building the relevant skills which the homeless people can learn. These training facilities should provide shelter, food and relevant training which will help these people overcome the fear and be confident that they can earn and will be respected in the society. Therefore, by the government's planning and execution of different schemes can help anybody to again earn for themselves and also gain respect. In conclusion, to deal with this problem of the society where some people have no access to the house, creating a proper plan and right execution of such plans can reduce or remove the problem entirely from the society.
A section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
asserts that homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
partially
as a myopic solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without any shelter of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
should
be encouraged
for education or their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should
be enhanced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them settle in long term.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't have any place to stay are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfortunate and it is the duty of the community to extend their helping hand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them available what they
are deprived
of. Any kind of financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is always appreciated
hence
the near term needs
are fulfilled
. Clothes, food and shelter are the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of any human being for survival.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
charitable
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
raise money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Nevertheless
, from an enlightened standpoint,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and charitable
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
should
also
focus more on the strategic solution of this problem. They need to
be provided
with education and followed by other professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sufficient
and not dependent on any kind of donations.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should open up training
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
which would
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
on building the relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which the homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn. These training facilities should provide shelter, food and relevant training which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overcome the fear and be confident that they can earn and will
be respected
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Therefore
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's planning and execution of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
schemes can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
anybody to again earn for themselves and
also
gain respect.

In conclusion
, to deal with this problem of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no access to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, creating a proper plan and right execution of such plans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
or remove the problem
entirely
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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