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Most people think that money cannot buy happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? v.1

Most people think that money cannot buy happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? v. 1
Every company has their own priorities and expectations, from their employees. Some corporations demand its staff members to be well dressed. Whereas, other firms only value the workmanship. In this essay we will discuss why it is necessary in a corporate world to wear better outfits, but why more importance should be given to standard of performance. Each individual should have an amazing dressing sense if the company were to look professional. Because, faculties with smart outfits will not just indicate the discipline, but also good harmony in the work environment. In addition, this will also leave a long lasting first impression in the minds of customers, thus indirectly helping the business grow. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted in India shows that common people tend to prefer shops, hotels, and banks whose workers are nicely dressed. Admittedly, organisations have valid reasons to expect their wage-earners to be smartly dressed. On the contrary, appearance is irrelevant if an employee struggles to deliver the quality work. Moreover, not all the companies prioritise outlooks of its members. However, every business unit appreciates the skill and productivity a staff has to offer. For example, an IT professional is only required to come up with a bug free code with high sustainability. Similarly, a surgeon's task is to carry out surgeries with utmost accuracy, without endangering patients' life. Finally, employer's just consider the quality of deliverables to evaluate a performer. To conclude, some occupations might require staff members to present themselves attractively in order to please the customers, but this will not be a sole criteria considered in evaluating the annual appraisals. In my opinion, workers should be rated only based on their performance, regardless of their dressing style.
Every
company
has
their
own
priorities and expectations, from their employees.
Some
corporations demand its staff members to be
well dressed
.
Whereas
, other firms
only
value the workmanship. In this essay we will discuss why it is necessary in a corporate world to wear better outfits,
but
why more importance should be
given
to standard of performance.

Each individual should have an amazing dressing sense if the
company
were to look professional.
Because
, faculties with smart outfits will not
just
indicate the discipline,
but
also
good
harmony in the work environment.
In addition
, this will
also
leave
a
long lasting
first
impression in the minds of customers,
thus
indirectly
helping the business grow. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted in India
shows
that common
people
tend to prefer shops, hotels, and banks whose workers are
nicely
dressed.
Admittedly
,
organisations
have valid reasons to
expect
their wage-earners to be
smartly
dressed.

On the contrary
, appearance is irrelevant if an employee struggles to deliver the quality work.
Moreover
, not all the
companies
prioritise
outlooks of its members.
However
, every business unit appreciates the
skill
and productivity a staff
has to
offer.
For example
, an IT professional is
only
required to
come
up with a bug free code with high sustainability.
Similarly
, a surgeon's task is to carry out surgeries with utmost accuracy, without endangering patients' life.
Finally
, employer's
just
consider the quality of deliverables to evaluate a performer.

To conclude
,
some
occupations might require staff members to present themselves
attractively
in order to
please
the customers,
but
this will not be a sole
criteria
considered in evaluating the annual appraisals. In my opinion, workers should
be rated
only
based on their performance, regardless of their dressing style.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people think that money cannot buy happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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