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Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalization a positive or negative development? v.3

Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. v. 3
Globalization is everywhere now and so, while some people approve of it, there are others who do not accept that it would be a benefit. There are a variety of positive developments, nevertheless, this does have some negative developments that need to be considered. Firstly, globalization has led to many futuristic developments and has a great impact on society. Furthermore, it had opened up to free trade and communication with other nations and thus, have improved technology, education, health care and consumer goods worldwide. For example, one of the most delicious products that have been enjoyed in everywhere, Nutella, which gets its ingredients from several countries. On the other hand, globalization had, unfortunately, led to homogenous cultures, which unfortunately made the unique cultures and languages of each distinct country extinct. For instance, Sri Lanka has many languages with the most prominent being Sinhalese and Tamil but there is a risk of more people speaking English and other languages in the future due to further studies and job opportunities abroad. Another drawback is that, it has also given rise to certain environmental issues. Due to the increased consumption and production of products. As follows, due to the rising demands of wood for doors and furniture of new houses built for people moving in from another country, could in turn lead to large areas of trees cut down and consequently, causing deforestation. In conclusion, living in a globalized world, has improved technological innovations, consumer goods, as well as, educational-wise, nonetheless, it could lead to homogenous cultures and many stressful environmental problems due to drastic production and consumption. Considering the above reasons, the negative movement appears to overrule the positive movement.
Globalization is everywhere
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
approve of it, there are others who do not accept that it would be a benefit. There are a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments,
nevertheless
, this does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments that need to
be considered
.

Firstly
, globalization has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
futuristic developments and has a great impact on society.
Furthermore
, it had opened up to free trade and communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations and
thus
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
technology, education, health care and consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
worldwide.
For example
, one of the most delicious products that have
been enjoyed
in everywhere, Nutella, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
its ingredients from several countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, globalization had, unfortunately, led to homogenous cultures, which unfortunately made the unique cultures and languages of each distinct country extinct.
For instance
, Sri Lanka has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
languages with the most prominent being Sinhalese and Tamil
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
speaking English and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
languages in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
further
studies and job opportunities abroad. Another drawback is that, it has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to certain environmental issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the increased consumption and production of products. As follows,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the rising demands of wood for doors and furniture of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
built for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
moving in from another country, could in turn lead to large areas of trees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down and
consequently
, causing deforestation.

In conclusion
, living in a globalized world, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
technological innovations, consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
as well
as, educational-wise, nonetheless, it could lead to homogenous cultures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stressful environmental problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to drastic production and consumption. Considering the above reasons, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
movement appears to overrule the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
movement.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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