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Some people think that parents should plan their children's leisure time carefully. Other people believe children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time. Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice. v.5

Some people think that parents should plan their children's leisure time carefully. Other people believe children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time. Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice. v. 5
There are many considerations or factors that everyone takes into account in if planning a leisure time for children or allowing them to decide what to do. Some people may hold a flexible parenting style toward their children, others could have a rigid and well-prepared plan already for their children. The reasons for those people' s decision are very subjective and relative. In my humble opinion, we should let children learn how to spend their free time by themselves. Making decision by oneself is a crucial lesson in a lifetime. Children, under development in either physical or mental, have no ideal about how to plan individually. Leisure time management is a splendid task for them to practice because it has minor importance and less impact on their studying. Once they have the chances to start thinking about enjoying their free time, they probably want to play basketball, video games, going to a zoo, and so forth. They could learn from either good nor bad experience. They would know how to deal with the situation or even prevent it from happening next time. For example, the child would like to go to the zoo with friends. They have appointments at PM1: 00 at the entrance of the zoo. When they arrive, they are surprised that the zoo is going to close after two hours later. After that, they know they should make schedule earlier to have more fun in the zoo. Furthermore, independence is also vital for the children' s development. When they have to decide by themselves, they' ll learn to be responsible for their decision. For instance, letting children play video if they want to in free time. It turns out, they tend to focus more on studying because they feel a sense of satisfaction and then study harder. It' s a positive circle of a loop. Letting children make a decision by themselves has shown lots of advantageous results due to developing independence and self-discipline. The leisure time management benefits children and helps them deal with more complex and challenging tasks in the future.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
considerations or factors that everyone takes into account in if planning a leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or allowing them to decide what to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold a flexible parenting style toward their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others could have a rigid and well-prepared plan already for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The reasons for those
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
subjective and relative. In my humble opinion, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn how to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by themselves.

Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by oneself is a crucial lesson in a lifetime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
, under development in either physical or mental, have no ideal about how to plan
individually
. Leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management is a splendid task for them to practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has minor importance and less impact on their studying. Once they have the chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking about enjoying their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they
probably
want to play basketball, video games, going to a zoo, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. They could learn from either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience. They would know how to deal with the situation or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it from happening
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, the child would like to go to the zoo with friends. They have appointments at PM1: 00 at the entrance of the zoo. When they arrive, they
are surprised
that the zoo is
There isn't usually a preposition before "close". Did you mean "going close"?
going to close
after two hours later. After that, they know they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
schedule earlier to have more fun in the zoo.
Furthermore
, independence is
also
vital for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s development. When they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide by themselves,
Possible spelling mistake found.
they&
#039; ll learn to be responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
For instance
, letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play video if they want to in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It turns out, they tend to focus more on studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel a sense of satisfaction and
Did you mean "than"?
then
study harder.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
circle of a loop.

Letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by themselves has shown lots of advantageous results due to developing independence and self-discipline. The leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them deal with more complex and challenging tasks in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should plan their children's leisure time carefully. Other people believe children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time. Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice. v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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