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Most centuries important part of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math with the advent of computer. some people think that computers can be made as fourth skill to be added to the list. What extent agree ot disagreee v.2

Most centuries important part of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math with the advent of computer. some people think that computers can be made as fourth skill to be added to the list. What extent agree ot disagreee v. 2
In Modern era, education is important part of life full stop in that time reading, writing and Maths important for student but computer is also basic need for students while other think computer is also important for schools I agree with former statement. I will discuss my views with upcoming paragraphs. < br> & nbsp; < br> In modern era, every schools give best knowledge to students such as writing, reading, maths. Students bring lots of knowledge, but thr computer& nbsp; & nbsp; is most important part of life. every institute& nbsp; give knowledge of computer to students. Because nowadays, & nbsp; thr person& nbsp; doing all work on computer, they donot doing work manually like acccounting, billing. Because& nbsp; thr technology& nbsp; is very fast so if the institute give& nbsp; knowledge of computer to students. So the people& nbsp; bring much confidence in our life and they donot threat for compitition of fast face life. < br> < br> Furthermore, there are many multinational companies are in my country. it provide lot of opportunities to Peoples for computer jobs. if a person have knowledge of computer and a company give job to person you will a computer is inhance our knowledge because you fast face life, technology give lots of things, every work is depend on computers. < br> < br> In paradoxical side, education is essential for human if the person have knowledge of computer so the person has stand in good position in our life it is school, colleges providing good knowledge of computer so the student do not threat any condition of life
In Modern era, education is
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important
part of
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life
full
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stop
in that time reading, writing and
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Maths
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important
for
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student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
computer is
also
basic need for
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students
while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
computer is
also
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important
for schools I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with former statement. I will discuss my views with upcoming paragraphs.
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;

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;
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;
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;
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br&gt
;

In modern era, every schools
A determiner is probably missing here: "give the best".
give best
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knowledge
to
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students
such as writing, reading,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
.
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Students
bring lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
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but
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thr
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computer&amp
;
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nbsp
;
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&amp
;
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nbsp
; is
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most
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important
part of
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life
.
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every
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institute&amp
;
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nbsp
;
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give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of computer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
nowadays,
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&amp
;
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nbsp
;
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thr
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person&amp
;
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nbsp
; doing all work on computer, they
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donot
doing work
manually
like
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acccounting
, billing.
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Because&amp
;
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nbsp
;
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thr
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technology&amp
;
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nbsp
; is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the institute
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give&amp
;
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nbsp
;
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knowledge
of computer to
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students
.
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So
the
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people&amp
;
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nbsp
; bring much confidence in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they
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donot
threat for
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compitition
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
face
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life
.
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&lt
;
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br&gt
;

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&lt
;
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;

Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are in my country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
opportunities to Peoples for computer jobs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of computer and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
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give
job to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
you will a computer is
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inhance
our
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knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
lots of things, every work is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on computers.
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&lt
;
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br&gt
;

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&lt
;
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br&gt
;

In paradoxical side, education is essential for human if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has stand in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
it is school, colleges providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
do not threat any condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Mistakes

IELTS essay Most centuries important part of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math with the advent of computer. some people think that computers can be made as fourth skill to be added to the list. What extent agree ot disagreee v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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