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For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some O people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do u agree? v.3

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some O people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. v. 3
In the past, people generally think that essential parts of education should be included literacy and numeracy. However, by the appearance of information technology, people believe that computer skill must be adapted into the curriculum. I strongly agree with the point of view. First of all, as the digital generation comes, the know-how of using a computer is necessary. Many simple daily jobs involve using technology devices and the internet, for examples, online purchasing, browsing social media, using a GPS system to find the way. I can firmly say that people cannot live without technology nowadays. There is no doubt that learning computer skills can facilitate students’ learning. For example, students can browse and search learning materials online anywhere anytime. Also, students can submit homework with one-click and the teachers can keep track of their student’s learning by using artificial intelligence. Moreover, the students can also ask problems and get prompt responses from the teachers via chat room apps. Besides, computer knowledge allows the graduated students to enhance the job opportunity. Most of the employers claimed that they are more willing to hire employees with advanced computer skills. As we open the newspaper and search for a job, we can find that computer skill is a required skill for nearly every job. Whether you are working as a salesman, engineer or secretary, you must rely on computers to finish your daily tasks such as checking emails, recording transactions and do documentary work…… Therefore, to prepare for adult life, the students should gain more knowledge and skill of computer as much as they can when they are studying. In conclusion, teaching computer skills at school is necessary. However, to help students get a whole around development, more subjects and skills should be added into the teaching plan.
In the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that essential parts of education should
be included
literacy and numeracy.
However
, by the appearance of information technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be adapted
into the curriculum. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point of view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, as the digital generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, the know-how of using a computer is necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
simple daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
involve using technology devices and the internet, for examples, online purchasing, browsing social media, using a GPS system to find the way. I can
firmly
say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without technology nowadays.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can browse and search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
materials online anywhere anytime.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can submit homework with one-click and the teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by using artificial intelligence.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
also
ask problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prompt responses from the teachers via chat room apps.

Besides
, computer knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity. Most of the employers claimed that they are more willing to hire employees with advanced computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. As we open the newspaper and search for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, we can find that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is a required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
for
nearly
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Whether you are working as a salesman, engineer or secretary, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
rely on computers to finish your daily tasks such as checking emails, recording transactions and do documentary work……
Therefore
, to prepare for adult life, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should gain more knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of computer as much as they can when they are studying.

In conclusion
, teaching computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at school is necessary.
However
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a whole around development, more subjects and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into the teaching plan.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some O people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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