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Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. v. 7
Nowadays, artists are not being paid enough from the government. Some people argue that they should obtain a high salary from the government in order to proceed with their work. In my perspective, the government should appreciate the artists more and give them a funding; however, there should be some conditions. On the one hand, I believe that artists have to receive funding from the authorities, because art is a crucial part to our culture and civilization and all people should increase their interest in it. Therefore, artists are an important major to our life. Due to the low salaries that artists are earning by the government less work is being produced by them. As a result, the next generation will lose the connection and interest of their history as well as the cultural will suffer from a lack of development. On the other hand, I think not all the artists should be paid by the government where there should be certain terms of that. When the artist is exhibiting an inappropriate work that can affect the kids’ mindset, then not only the government shouldn’t give them a funds but also, they have to arrest them and forbid their work. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by the JJ Magazine has showed that most of the mothers are complaining that their children are being influenced from the today’s songs that contain an awful words and meanings. In conclusion, the government isn’t giving a good salary to the artists therefore more people are complaining about that and requesting for a funds to the artists. Nevertheless, I partly agree with this opinion and believe that not all the artists should be paid by the government for any work they do.
Nowadays,
artists
are not
being paid
enough
from the
government
.
Some
people
argue that they should obtain a high salary from the
government
in order to proceed with their
work
. In my perspective, the
government
should appreciate the
artists
more and give them a funding;
however
, there should be
some
conditions.

On the one hand, I believe that
artists
have to
receive funding from the authorities,
because
art is a crucial part to our culture and civilization and all
people
should increase their interest in it.
Therefore
,
artists
are an
important
major to our life. Due to the low salaries that
artists
are earning by the
government
less
work
is
being produced
by them.
As a result
, the
next
generation will lose the connection and interest of their history
as well
as the cultural will suffer from a lack of development.

On the other hand
, I
think
not all the
artists
should
be paid
by the
government
where there should be certain terms of that. When the
artist
is exhibiting an inappropriate
work
that can affect the kids’ mindset, then not
only
the
government
shouldn’t give them
a funds
but
also
, they
have to
arrest them and forbid their
work
. To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by the
JJ
Magazine has
showed
that most of the mothers are complaining that their children are
being influenced
from the
today
’s songs that contain an awful words and meanings.

In conclusion
, the
government
isn’t giving a
good
salary to the
artists
therefore
more
people
are complaining about that and requesting for
a funds
to the
artists
.
Nevertheless
, I partly
agree
with this opinion and believe that not all the
artists
should
be paid
by the
government
for any
work
they do.
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IELTS essay Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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