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More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it? v.1

More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it? v. 1
Nowadays, along with the rapid development of the economy, some students think that study abroad brings many benefits, while others believe that they should finish university education in their motherland. It is quite natural that people from different backgrounds may have divergent attitudes towards it. One advantage of studying abroad is mingling with the different types of the cultures and customs of that country. To illustrate, when a student travels abroad to study, he will be completely exposed to the positive traditions and cultures of such people. Consequently, he will get valuable benefits from such customs when he returns to his homeland. For example, the Erasmus program allows Spanish students to attend university in The United Kingdom. These students can develop the English language skills of the country they are visiting. Furthermore, they can learn in a system that is different from that of their home country. It is a truly invaluable experience for any person wishing to enrich their education. Another advantage of studying overseas is the massive benefits a student gets in his major. He will encounter the elite professors and academics from which he will acquire proper knowledge and experience in his field. Accordingly, the student will spend less time studying his major due to those highly educated professors. Hence, the student will be highly respected by his people when he returns to his home. Moreover, his immense knowledge and experience will dramatically contribute to the growth and development of his country. On the other side, traveling abroad has minor adverse effects on the students, some of which are getting involved in unethical activities or abusing drugs. Those bad things might make the students deviate from their original morals and traditions. However, this mainly depends on the student himself. If he follows these bad routes, he will not concentrate on his studies anymore. Therefore, he will acquire bad habits instead of his golden goal, namely study. Also, his future and previous aspirations will be utterly lost. In conclusion, studying abroad has its pros and cons. However, the advantages are a prominent feature. Subsequently, every student intended to study overseas, should pick out the excellent and beneficial merits from that country and extremely abstain from the ugly habits or customs. Accordingly, we will get a multicultural educated and prosperous generation of which we will be exceedingly proud.
Nowadays, along with the rapid development of the economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, while others believe that they should finish university education in their motherland. It is quite natural that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds may have divergent attitudes towards it. One advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is mingling with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of the cultures and customs of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To illustrate, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
travels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, he will be completely exposed to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traditions and cultures of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Consequently
, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
valuable benefits from such customs when he returns to his homeland.
For example
, the Erasmus program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Spanish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to attend university in The United Kingdom. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can develop the English language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are visiting.
Furthermore
, they can learn in a system
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from that of their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is a
truly
invaluable experience for any person wishing to enrich their education. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas is the massive benefits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
in his major. He will encounter the elite professors and academics from which he will acquire proper knowledge and experience in his field.
Accordingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will spend less time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
his major due to those
highly
educated professors.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will be
highly
respected by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when he returns to his home.
Moreover
, his immense knowledge and experience will
dramatically
contribute to the growth and development of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. On the other side, traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has minor adverse effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which are getting involved in unethical activities or abusing drugs. Those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deviate from their original morals and traditions.
However
, this
mainly
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
himself. If he follows these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
routes, he will not concentrate on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
anymore.
Therefore
, he will acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits
instead
of his golden goal,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Also
, his future and previous aspirations will be
utterly
lost.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has its pros and cons.
However
, the advantages are a prominent feature.
Subsequently
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
intended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
overseas, should pick out the excellent and beneficial merits from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
extremely
abstain from the ugly habits or customs.
Accordingly
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a multicultural educated and prosperous generation of which we will be
exceedingly
proud.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
389 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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