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Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 4
People have varieties of hobbies and interest in their lives, and over few decades it can be noticed that some hobbies changes according to the current situation, especially among children. Although this may be true to a certain extent, I am of the opinion that many hobbies are these with us even if our living condition changes. On the one hand it is true that some hobbies are changing due to the influence of the modern trends and styles. For example, board games were very popular during last the decades, but nowadays such games are being ignored. This is mainly due to the influence of the internet and social networking, which has resulted in the evolution of trendy games like video games, online games and mobile application. These have made the lives of youngsters more convenient and easily accessible, while comparing to the old board games such as caroms, chess, ludu etc. Hence it is clear that few hobbies are changing to the current trend in the society. However, I am also convinced that some hobbies are there to stay with us throughout our lives, despites of ever changing living standards. For example, hobbies like reading, cycling, walking, jogging etc are increasingly popular among all groups of people. Even in today’s sophisticated world, people realize the importance of continuing with such hobbies to tackle with the considerable stress that face in day to day life. Despite the fact a few have chosen gym for convenience, a vast majority stick on to outdoor physical activities. To conclude, although I accept that some hobbies have been modified according to the modern living standards, I reckon that many other hobbies are still widely practiced without any change. Hence I partly agree with the given statement that our hobbies are not a mirror image of our on reality and our hobbies are influenced by trend and fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and interest in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and over few decades it can
be noticed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation,
especially
among children. Although this may be true to a certain extent, I am of the opinion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are these with us even if our living condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

On the one hand it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are changing due to the influence of the modern trends and styles.
For example
, board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular during last the decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. This is
mainly
due to the influence of the internet and social networking, which has resulted in the evolution of trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and mobile application. These have made the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of youngsters more convenient and
easily
accessible, while comparing to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as caroms, chess,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ludu
etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are changing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend in the society.

However
, I am
also
convinced that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are there to stay with us throughout our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
despites
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
living standards.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
like reading, cycling, walking, jogging etc are
increasingly
popular among all groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Even in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s sophisticated world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
realize the importance of continuing with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
to tackle with the considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that face in day to day life. Despite the fact a few have chosen gym for convenience, a vast
It seems that there's a missing preposition after 'vast'.
majority
stick on to outdoor physical activities.

To conclude
, although I accept that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
have
been modified
according to the modern living standards, I reckon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are
still
widely
practiced without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are not a mirror image of our on reality and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are influenced
by trend and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fashion
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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