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More people will work from home and more student will study at home if computer technology becomes cheap and accessible. What will be the advantage and disadvantage if this happen? v.1

More people will work from home and more student will study at home if computer technology becomes cheap and accessible. What will be the advantage and disadvantage if this happen? v. 1
Due to the advancement of computer technology, it will become economical and accessible to every individual to work from their dwelling or study remotely by the use of personal computers. This trend will be beneficial as well as detrimental to society. Both the merits and demerits are elaborated further. Use of computers for study and working from home offers several advantages. The most prominent one is that work can be executed at a convenient time with more focus. As, in online working person are assign the different task which they need to complete at any time, so there will be no deadline to complete the task. Another advantage will pupils can obtain their degree from well-known universities. Apart from this, learners will also get various courses of their interest which might not provide at a regional educational facility. Furthermore, the cost of transportation from residence to office will cut-out. As a result, the saving of a person will increase. On the other hand, there will be several drawbacks which cannot be overlooked. Firstly, the individual might not be able to maintain a balance between works in life. By this, I mean working from home means they always do their jobs from home and do not spend time with a family member. Secondly, some student might lose concentration in their study. For example, in educational institutes, students are provided with that kind of environment where they can concentrate well, which lack in the study from their habitat. Finally, a person might procrastinate work and study and become used to it, which is not a good sign for anyone. In conclusion, although learning and working from home offers several advantages like convenient and economical. Procrastination and work-life balance are concerning the issue.
Due to the advancement of computer technology, it will become economical and accessible to every individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their dwelling or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
remotely
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal computers. This trend will be beneficial
as well
as detrimental to society. Both the merits and demerits
are elaborated
further
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of computers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home offers several advantages. The most prominent one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
be executed
at a convenient time with more focus. As, in online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
person are assign the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
task which they need to complete at any time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there will be no deadline to complete the task. Another advantage will pupils can obtain their degree from well-known universities. Apart from this, learners will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various courses of their interest which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not provide at a regional educational facility.
Furthermore
, the cost of transportation from residence to office will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-out.
As a result
, the saving of a person will increase.

On the other hand
, there will be several drawbacks which cannot
be overlooked
.
Firstly
, the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to maintain a balance between works in life. By this, I mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home means they always do their jobs from home and do not spend time with a family member.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lose concentration in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For example
, in educational institutes, students
are provided
with that kind of environment where they can concentrate well, which lack in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
from their habitat.
Finally
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
procrastinate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it, which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for anyone.

In conclusion
, although learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home offers several advantages like convenient and economical. Procrastination and work-life balance
The verb 'concerning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are concerning
the issue.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More people will work from home and more student will study at home if computer technology becomes cheap and accessible. What will be the advantage and disadvantage if this happen? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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