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More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.6

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 6
Nowadays, more and more people prefer to have kids late. The main reason is that they want to spend more time on their careers as well as their personal experiences. Personally, I believe that this lifestyle brings more benefits that drawbacks. The reason why the proportion of people who are having this lifestyle are getting larger is that it has numerous favourable aspects. First, people want to have chances to gain more personal experiences. In other words, they can have more years of freedom for their own pleasures. For example, they can travel around the globe to see breathtaking landscapes, to meet people from different cultures. They can also learn new skills such as flying a helicopter. This can help them find new hobbies and maybe even explore their hidden talents. Second, this lifestyle gives people a larger opportunity to focus on their career. They can save their time, effort and resources and allocate them to their career. To illustrate, people that have not had children can save a huge proportion of their income and therefore, they can use that to invest in a profitable project and generate more incomes. As a result, the benefits of having children in the later age are vast. Nevertheless, if people hesitate about having children for too long, that can have negative impacts to their life. One of the effects is about health conditions. This means that when they finally decide to have kids, their bodies may not be healthy enough for giving birth. Researches have shown that women over 35 have higher possibilities to give birth to babies with Down syndrome. In addition, it is harder for men over 40 to have a successful fertilization. In my opinion, despite its negative impacts, the benefits it brings are more valuable and worth trying. People should spend their youth on chasing their dreams and thinking big, as long as they settle down soon enough to be still healthy enough for babies, which is before 35 years old for women and before 40 years old for men. In conclusion, it is more common now to have kids in the later age. This can have both advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I suggest that people should spend their youth on their career and personal experience.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to have kids late. The main reason is that they want to spend more time on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
as well
as their personal experiences.
Personally
, I believe that this lifestyle brings more benefits that drawbacks.

The reason why the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are having this lifestyle are getting larger is that it has numerous
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
aspects.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to have chances to gain more personal experiences.
In other words
, they can have more years of freedom for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pleasures.
For example
, they can travel around the globe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
breathtaking landscapes, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. They can
also
learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as flying a helicopter. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find new hobbies and maybe even explore their hidden talents. Second, this lifestyle gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a larger opportunity to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. They can save their time, effort and resources and allocate them to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have not had children can save a huge proportion of their income and
therefore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that to invest in a profitable project and generate more incomes.
As a result
, the benefits of having children in the later age are vast.

Nevertheless
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hesitate about having children for too long, that can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to their life. One of the effects is about health conditions. This means that when they
finally
decide to have kids, their bodies may not be healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for giving birth. Researches have shown that women over 35 have higher possibilities to give birth to babies with Down syndrome.
In addition
, it is harder for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
over 40 to have a successful fertilization.

In my opinion, despite its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, the benefits it brings are more valuable and worth trying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should spend their youth on chasing their dreams and thinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, as long as they settle down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
still
healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for babies, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
35 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
for women and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
40 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In conclusion
, it is more common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to have kids in the later age. This can have both advantages and disadvantages.
Personally
, I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend their youth on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and personal experience.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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