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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.4

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 4
It is a fact that nowadays, many youths in various countries prefer to relax or catch fun during their free time by visiting one or more shops to purchase items. In my opinion, this is a laudable development. The rationale behind this trend and my opinion will be discussed below. There are several reasons why shopping has become the major recreational activity adopted by youngsters in many nations. One reason is that it is educative. Recent advances in technology has made manufacturers to improve the way they package their products and ushered in new inventions. Since young minds are always keen to learn new ways, they try to go shopping at their spare time to observe newly improved products and learn its use to develop their intelligence or encourage them to be innovative. For example, a 36 year old man from Lagos, Nigeria recently won two million naira gift from the state government for creating a compressed face towel. He reported that the initiative came as a result of the compressed body towel he saw on Alibaba website. This has become an avenue for many youths in the country to carry out research on consumer products. Despite the above reasons, some people say that this way of life is not beneficial to the young minds. This is because they think that it will lure them to live an extravagant life or spend their income lavishly which in the long run, could lead to covetousness and robbery. On the other hand, I believe that youths who shop as a form of a leisure activity enjoy great benefits. Firstly, going out to buy what one needs is a way to reducing stress after a hectic day at work. Nowadays, the beauty of the shopping malls coupled with the soft music being played in the background all helps to make one happy and forget the pressures of the day. Secondly, visiting shops help them to socialise and develop ones communicating skills. They meet other shoppers, initiate conversation and learn from their experiences. For instance, most malls in Lagos have a game centre and eatery to play games or eat after customers buy what they need. Their main aim is to build friendship among their customers. In conclusion, the younger generation in many countries now spends their idle hours to shop because it is a way they add to their knowledge. This lifestyle is beneficial to them as it helps to alleviate the enormous workload they encounter daily and to improve their social skills.
It is a fact that nowadays,
many
youths in various countries prefer to relax or catch fun during their free time by visiting one or more
shops
to
purchase
items. In my opinion, this is a laudable development. The rationale behind this trend and my opinion will
be discussed
below.

There are several reasons why shopping has become the major recreational activity adopted by youngsters in
many
nations. One reason is that it is educative. Recent advances in technology has made manufacturers to
improve
the way they package their products and ushered in new inventions. Since young minds are always keen to learn new ways, they try to go shopping at their spare time to observe
newly
improved
products and learn its
use to
develop their intelligence or encourage them to be innovative.
For example
, a 36 year
old
man
from Lagos, Nigeria recently won two million
naira
gift from the state
government
for creating a compressed face towel. He reported that the initiative came
as a result
of the compressed body towel he
saw
on Alibaba website. This has become an avenue for
many
youths in the country to carry out research on consumer products.

Despite the above reasons,
some
people
say that this way of life is not beneficial to the young minds. This is
because
they
think
that it will lure them to
live
an extravagant life or spend their income
lavishly
which in the long run, could lead to covetousness and robbery.

On the other hand
, I believe that youths who
shop
as a form of a leisure activity enjoy great benefits.
Firstly
, going out to
buy
what one needs is a way to reducing
stress
after a hectic day at work. Nowadays, the beauty of the shopping malls coupled with the soft music
being played
in the background all
helps
to
make
one happy and forget the pressures of the day.
Secondly
, visiting
shops
help
them to
socialise
and develop ones communicating
skills
. They
meet
other shoppers, initiate conversation and learn from their experiences.
For instance
, most malls in Lagos have a game
centre
and eatery to play games or eat after customers
buy
what they need. Their main aim is to build friendship among their customers.

In conclusion
, the younger generation in
many
countries
now
spends their idle hours to
shop
because
it is a way they
add
to their knowledge. This lifestyle is beneficial to them as it
helps
to alleviate the enormous workload they encounter daily and to
improve
their social
skills
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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