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More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.4

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 4
In the past, the parents used to give birth to children at very early stages of their married life. However, with the shift in lifestyle, nowadays, people prefer to have kids later in their life. This trend has its advantages and disadvantages and this essay will discuss them. With modernization, the lives of married couples have become more hectic and career-oriented. This has pushed marriage and childbirth to a later age in their list of priorities. But It has a few disadvantages in its bucket. Firstly, the stressful life has major effects on the health of parents, especially the mother and this has adverse effects on child and mother’s conditions during childbirth. Secondly, the late delivery of the first baby restricts the chances for a second child as the mother’s age and health complicate the situation. Moreover, it can be upsetting for kids as well, for example, the kid grows in an environment with no siblings and working parents. On the contrary, this has advantages for the children. Parents are very conscious to provide the best life to their children. Although parents give birth at a later stage of life, they make sure that they are well settled and have enough earnings to take care of the baby. The new generation parents want their kids to have a happy life with no financial struggles which they faced themselves while growing up. Clearly, this enhances the children’s lives and they can explore more to face the challenging life, for instance, they get a better education. In conclusion, giving birth at an older age has its pros and cons, but in my opinion, the advantages fail to outweigh the disadvantages as children growing with siblings have a happier and satisfied life.
In the past, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stages of their married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, with the shift in lifestyle, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
later in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This trend has its advantages and disadvantages and this essay will discuss them.

With modernization, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of married couples have become more hectic and career-oriented. This has pushed marriage and childbirth to a later age in their list of priorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
It has a few disadvantages in its bucket.
Firstly
, the stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has major effects on the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
especially
the mother and this has adverse effects on child and mother’s conditions during childbirth.
Secondly
, the late delivery of the
first
baby restricts the chances for a second child as the mother’s age and health complicate the situation.
Moreover
, it can be upsetting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
as well
,
for example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
grows in an environment with no siblings and working parents.

On the contrary
, this has advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conscious to provide the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give birth at a later stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they are well settled and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
earnings to take care of the baby. The new generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to have a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with no financial struggles which they faced themselves while growing up.
Clearly
, this enhances the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they can explore more to face the challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
for instance
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better education.

In conclusion
, giving birth at an older age has its pros and cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, the advantages fail to outweigh the disadvantages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing with siblings have a happier and satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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