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Global warming is one of the most serious issues facing the world today. What are some of the causes of global warming? How is it affecting our planet, and what can government and individuals do to solve the problem? v.1

Global warming is one of the most serious issues facing the world today. What are some of the causes of global warming? How is it affecting our planet, and what can government and individuals do to solve the problem? v. 1
The probability of being a victim of crime is much higher in cities than in smaller towns or villages. This trend is mainly due to the anonymity of urban spaces and the prevalence of poverty in inner-city areas. However, there is a range of measures that could be implemented to resolve the issue of city crime. One of the reasons for the low crime rate in rural centres is their stronger sense of community. In small towns, the likelihood of people knowing their neighbors is very high and, as a result of these stronger community links, people are both less likely to commit a crime and more likely to be arrested if they do. Another cause is the potential financial return of a crime, which is much higher in major cities than small towns. Compare, for example, the amount of money a thief would make from robbing a major urban supermarket as opposed to a local convenience store. However, it is probably the vast gap between the rich and poor in cities that triggers most urban crime. When people living in poverty live in close proximity to the wealthiest members of a society, it is no wonder that crime occurs. There are a number of ways to lower the urban crime rate. Firstly, the government should invest in community policing. If people see the same police officers everyday, not only will it foster a sense of togetherness in the public, but it will also make criminals fear being recognized for a crime. The best way to tackle inner-city crime, however, would be to narrow the gap in the standard of living between all city dwellers through tax reform, which would reduce people’s motivation for committing a crime. Although I concede that this would be a difficult task, it is interesting that crime is less of a problem in Scandinavian cities than American ones, which must surely be the outcome of their much fairer social welfare system. In conclusion, the lack of community in urban areas and the wide gap between rich and poor both lead urban areas to suffer more from crime than rural ones. Only When governments are able to ensure that everybody living in a city has the same wealth and opportunities, will this situation be remedied.
The probability of being a victim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is much higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than in smaller towns or villages. This trend is
mainly
due to the anonymity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
spaces and the prevalence of poverty in inner-city areas.
However
, there is a range of measures that could
be implemented
to resolve the issue of city crime.

One of the reasons for the low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in rural
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
is their stronger sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns, the likelihood of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
knowing their neighbors is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and,
as a result
of these stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
links,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are both less likely to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and more likely to
be arrested
if they do. Another cause is the potential financial return of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, which is much higher in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns. Compare,
for example
, the amount of money a thief would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from robbing a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
supermarket as opposed to a local convenience store.
However
, it is
probably
the vast gap between the rich and poor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that triggers most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in poverty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
to the wealthiest members of a society, it is no wonder that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
occurs.

There are a number of ways to lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
policing. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the same police officers
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it foster a sense of togetherness in the public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
criminals fear
being recognized
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The best way to tackle inner-city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
however
, would be to narrow the gap in the standard of living between all city dwellers through tax reform, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
motivation for committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Although I concede that this would be a difficult task, it is interesting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is less of a problem in Scandinavian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than American ones, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
surely
be the outcome of their much fairer social welfare system.

In conclusion
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas and the wide gap between rich and poor both lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas to suffer more from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
than rural ones.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are able to ensure that everybody living in a city has the same wealth and opportunities, will this situation
be remedied
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Global warming is one of the most serious issues facing the world today. What are some of the causes of global warming? How is it affecting our planet, and what can government and individuals do to solve the problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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