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More people are traveling today than ever before. Why do you think this is? v.2

More people are traveling today than ever before. Why do you think this is? v. 2
Today, the number of people engaging in international travel is swelling rapidly. This is a trend that does not appear to be slowing at all. Although many factors have contributed to this growth, trade opportunities and increasing affluence are thought to be the main triggers. Both will be examined in this essay. On the one hand, the increasing international awareness of growth markets is spurring development in the travel sector. For example, knowledge of raw resources available in African countries has piqued the interest of manufacturing and consuming nations the world over. To capitalize on this interest, many are making expeditions to establish cross border connections with business people in the African region. Thus, it is clear that trade is one of the core reasons international travel is growing. In addition to this, growing affluence the world over has made it possible for increasing amounts of people to engage in recreational travel. For instance, Chinese tourist numbers are growing so quickly that major holiday destinations, such as the Eiffel Tower in Paris, are choosing to display their public signs in French, English and Mandarin. Thus, the unshrinking need for tourist hotspots to accommodate travellers from various countries is clear evidence that a true link between tourism numbers and international travel exists. It can therefore be concluded that growing worldwide affluence is fuelling a surge in international travel numbers. To conclude, it is clear that global trade opportunities and tourism are altering humanity’s need for international travel. It is thus expected that rates of travel will only continue to climb into the foreseeable future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is swelling
rapidly
. This is a trend that does not appear to be slowing at all. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors have contributed to this growth, trade opportunities and increasing affluence are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be the main triggers. Both will
be examined
in this essay.

On the one hand, the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
awareness of growth markets is spurring development in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
sector.
For example
, knowledge of raw resources available in African countries has piqued the interest of manufacturing and consuming nations the world over. To capitalize on this interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are making expeditions to establish cross border connections with business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the African region.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that trade is one of the core reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is growing.

In addition
to this, growing affluence the world over has made it possible for increasing amounts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to engage in recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
For instance
, Chinese tourist numbers are growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
that major holiday destinations, such as the Eiffel Tower in Paris, are choosing to display their public signs in French, English and Mandarin.
Thus
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unshrinking
need for tourist hotspots to accommodate
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
from various countries is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that a true link between tourism numbers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
exists. It can
therefore
be concluded
that growing worldwide affluence is fuelling a surge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
numbers.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that global trade opportunities and tourism are altering humanity’s need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. It is
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
continue to climb into the foreseeable future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay More people are traveling today than ever before. Why do you think this is? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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