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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone? v.18

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone? v. 18
It is true that a huge number of people are leaving the countryside to live in big cities, but their life faces with a lot of difficult problems in the cities. Several problems have resulted from this tendency and they should be tackled by a number of effective solutions from government. There are some problems, why city soul is more and more becoming difficult. Firstly, it is difficult to find job opportunities in cities. This is because human migration is facing with the fierce competition in the labour market. There are a large number of applications and they are better than human transfer about knowledge, skills and qualifications. Therefore, they do not secure a job and unemployment rates could be increased. Secondly, the cost of living in the city is higher than rural areas. For example, low-income people do not have enough money to pay for housing, transport and food, so they must live in slums with bad standard of living. The ministry should take several measures to improve urban life. The authority should increase job opportunities in the countryside such as construction industries, training course for local people. This would reduce the unemployment rate and limit movement to big cities. Furthermore, the politics, should reduce air pollution in the cities. For instance, the nations encourage their residents to increase the use of public transportation. It could decrease the chemical emission in the atmosphere and enhance the health of citizens. In conclusion, living in cities brings some drawbacks for human exodus. I believe that the state should improve the quality of urban life by several ways which have been mentioned above.
It is true that a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are leaving the countryside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their life faces with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficult problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Several problems have resulted from this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tendency and
they should
be tackled
by a number of effective solutions from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, why city soul is more and more becoming difficult.
Firstly
, it is difficult to find job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human migration is facing with the fierce competition in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market. There are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
applications and
they are better than human transfer about knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications.
Therefore
, they do not secure a job and unemployment rates could
be increased
.
Secondly
, the cost of living in the city is higher than rural areas.
For example
, low-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to pay for housing, transport and food,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in slums with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
standard of living.

The ministry should take several measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
urban life. The authority should increase job opportunities in the countryside such as construction industries, training course for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate and limit movement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Furthermore
, the politics, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, the nations encourage their residents to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transportation. It could decrease the chemical emission in the atmosphere and enhance the health of citizens.

In conclusion
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for human exodus. I believe that the state should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of urban life by several ways which have
been mentioned
above.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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